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Is it ethical to extend life when suffering?

Mandy8
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My Mum has stage 4 lung cancer and is currently receiving home oxygen therapy and can hardly walk because she is so weak.  She has various pains controlled by co-codamol and takes oramorph if her breathlessness gets very bad.  It was decided to stop over 4 years of cancer treatments a month ago and she has deteriorated rapidly.  My sister wants to try all sorts of alternatives cancer treatments, but my mum keeps saying she would be better off dead and I think if the treatments do work and extend her life, that it's just cruel to extend her life when her quality of life is so poor.  So I have been reluctant to use alternative treatments with my mum as I think it is unethical as she would rather die quickly.  Any thoughts on this?

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    Hi there ...

    So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... in my opinion cancer takes away control .. we get on the cancer rollercoaster and off we go .. just holding on tight al9ng the way ..

    Well I've taken control of my treatment early on .. and for me it meant a lot having a bit of control back in my court.. I make my own decisions and my amazing surgeon and family have all supported me every step of the way ... 

    Well your mum at the end of the day, knows what she can and can't do .. pain management is the most important thing now ... 4 years of treatments means she's given it all she can ..  there is a lot of false info, on so called cures .. though some of those things may help her pain and make her more comfortable ... but remember there's many rich people that searched everywhere for a cure, just to loose their journey ... 

    So I'd say, really listen to your mum .. both you and your sister .. and know there's a time to fight, and a time to make the most of everyday we have .. that can be filled with memories .. like finding out about her life growing up .. sitting holding her hand ... share tears .. and lots of hugs .. and leave nothing unsaid ... it's o.k to all admit it's scary .. but that's what I'm doing .. living life as much as possible every day I get ..  sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie  

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    Hi it all comes down to your mum it's her life it's up to her see what she wants. Best wishes 

    Billy 

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    Hello I lost my Mum a week ago today after only 4weeks from diagnosis. From day one when she told me they had found secondary cancer in her liver she said the words....please respect my wishes...even though at that stage we didn’t know how bad it was. 

     

    She knew her body and it was important for her to be in control though the last weeks. She kept a record by the bed of her medicines so as to make it easy for us all and feel like she a input. 

    It was really painful to watch her go downhill in the last week however she maintained dignity and told us she wanted to go gracefully. She was fully accepting that this was it and that she would make it as easy as possible for us. She hated hospitals and we managed to avoid any of that and any ambulances etc and she died at home where she chose to be. It’s was all on her terms.

     

    the doctor had mentioned chemo would extend but not by much but I would not of wanted her to go through that for only a matter of weeks extra. Instead we used the time to talk and it was a privilege to care for her. I didn’t once feel angry or anything that she chose not to do the chemo. 

     

    Your sister might be in denial that this is happening and none of us want to lose our mums, but if it was me I’d do the same as mum. Try to leave gracefully when the end is inevitable xxx

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    Hi ime so sorry your i this position .my partner had a stroke 4 days after her first chemo on friday morning sunday 4 am sepsis took her for me it was agony but i was how can i put it releived as she would have been at home paralysed and die in a very short time it was horrible for me but for liz it was a blessing if she hadnt had stroke she maybe would have lasted a bit longer but in great pain its obviouse you would think like me .so theres your answer realy from another way of looking at .its your mums choice go with it bit harsh the way ive put it just trying to put lodgic into it ime so sorry your all going through this its so hard and painful best wishes.paul

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