My brother is dying

my little brother of 23 is dying of cancer and I have tried for so long to be strong and block out the feelings but I’m breaking. 

He was diagnosed at 16 and honestly I really did believe he would beat it and even up to a few weeks ago, even when the doctor said he would pass away soon, I still didn’t believe it, but now it’s sunken in and he is so weak and fragile and knowing that he will pass away makes me physically sick, I feel extremely depressed and also guilty for even writing this because it’s him who has the cancer, I shouldn’t complain about how I feel but I just don’t know what to do or say. And I don’t want to feel like this because it’s affecting my daily life, I feel so sorry for him, He is the kindest person I have ever known and extremely mature for his age. He is an amazing little brother and I wish that i could take his cancer for him. He doesn’t deserve this horrible disease. 

Any advice about how I can deal with this better? 

  • Hi there ...

    Bless ya .. you've come to the right place .. it's for anyone touched by cancer ... not just those with it ..

    There's a lot of feelings we go through .. but guilt for comming on here ISN'T one of them .. we all need a safe place to scream / vent or just chat .. and on here we don't guess how others feel, we've been there ..

    I've been on both sides of cancer, and I think it's harder watching those we love go through so much with cancer ... 

    Just go with whatever your feeling .. letting everyth8ng out will get a bit of pressure out .. it's o.k to yell .. it's o.k to cry .. it's o.k to smile if something amusing does happen .. it's helps no one holding it all in .. if you can cry, others will feel o.k to show feelings .. coz when you share feelings you all end up walking the same path ... it's o.k to admit your scared ...

    Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

  • First of all its ok to feel how you do, when we have someone close to us that we love that has cancer and there is nothing we can do to help we feel out of control, useless but your not.

    Make your brother smile, make memories and enjoy what time you do have together, he will always live on in your heart.

    I know it's not easy, I'm going through the same with my mum all i can say is don't feel guilty for laughing, smiling make the most of the time you have together, its breaking my heart but i try make my mum laugh everyday enjoy the time you have and don't be hard on yourself 

    sending a big hug