My Mums losing her fight now

My lovely Mums been fighting breast cancer for nearly 3 years, but she’s losing her fight now.

She’s been in and out of hospital with infections over the last few months, and has recovered, but she’s in again and this time her poor bodies had enough.

I’ve been lying in bed last night crying my eyes out for her, but also for me, and us as a family as I can’t bear to imagine a life without her. She’s always been there. She’s been our guide, our North Star, it feels like everything I’ve ever done was to make my Mum proud. Although I’m 47, I’m really just her little boy She’s the only one who really knows me and always asks how I truly am and who I feel I can really tell. I’m so scared of this life without her.

I guess I’m just crying a lot at the moment, hoping she will pull through again, but I need to face reality that I’m losing my Mum.

  • Hi Dave...

    Loosing our mum is one of the hardest things we have to go through in life ... second only to loosing a child ...  

    That wonderful relationship you have with her, will never go .. she'll stay tucked up in your heart and you'll take her with you where ever you go ... she'll be right there ..

    I lost my mum suddenly from a heart attack and had no chance to even say those things like I was so proud to be her daughter.... I chatted to her one Monday morning.... at 5.20 we lost her ... what I'd give for just one hour ... I was 36 .. and she was my pillow when I cryed .. and the clown that made me smile .. and the perfect nanny ...

    So I remember well that feeling ..of loosing the best friend we ever get .. our mum ...

    But try not to think of her not here ... hold on to every hour you get .. hold her hand and tell her what's in your heart ... they say hearing is the last thing to go... so keep talking ... you have the chance I never had.. 

    I've felt my mum around me .. at times when things weren't good .. and you only see signs when you don't look for them ... when I was diagnosed with breast cancer... I found feathers everywhere... esp in my bra .. every day .. and the day I was told it was contained and low risk of spread they stopped ...

    So just remember you are half of her ... she will live through you .. l adore my son .. and once going down to theatre for an emergency op, where I was sure I wouldn't come out of .. my son held my hand till he had to leave the operating room ... l was content knowing his would be the last face I saw ... 

    We never leave our sons .. wer bound by an invisible cord , they thought was cut at your births .. but that invisible cord that connects us is always there .. just picture her right behind you cancer free .. and you know I still chat to my mum up there .. and the answer pops in my head ... believe ...

    Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx