I’m so sorry to hear that you have two family members with ongoing cancer battles. That is beyond cruel, I’m so so sorry, and your poor children, how old are your children? I have an 11 yr old and twins 9, it’s awful to think they miss out on knowing them and being loved by them I hate cancer!

Hey please do keep writing on here if it helps you. It makes me feel better for sharing so I understand. Did the hospice seem worried about your mum coughing blood? Is the fluid to do with the steroids now? Arent they awful drugs aswell. I hope she begins to feel better, especially in that environment which must be a very calm experience. 

I completely agree about the kids. Mine are 4 and 20 months. They both ADORE my mum. She had them when I went  back to work both times until they were 18 months old. She has a very special relationship with them. Now they cannot understand what's wrong with grandma. They have seen her lose her hair twice now but she has still be round moving house, cutting trees down etc. This is an entirely different beast. 

Today wasn't good for my mum either really. As the treatment has ended she is now starting to feel the effects of the build up of radiation. Luckily I popped in with some food, she needed help to dress, to make her carrot juice ( cancer curing apparently.. ), I helped with the washing, cleaning, made her dinner. She is just absolutely exhausted xx

I just thought I would check in, how’s your mum? My beautiful mum passed away 9 June at the hospice. Her battles over now, we’re all devastated but I keep trying to think of her in a better place now. Good luck with your mum, and thanks for your kind words when I was reeling, I hope you’re mum is doing well. I can answer a good I can or be an ear to listen if you have anything you need off your chest xxx

Hi, I'm so sorry to read the struggles you have been going through. How is your mum now? I hope things have got easier for you and her. 

My mum was diognosed in Oct 2017 with stage 4 bowel cancer. She was only 62. It had spread to her liver and lungs.

She had chemo and was so well. Not many side effects, still herself, very positive. 

She had several surgerys over the year and half. Removing her tumor in bowel, 2 ops on her liver and an op on her lung.

She recovered really well, had more chemo. 

After each scan, they kept finding more cancer, but seemed like chemo was keeping it at bay or at least small enough for them to consider more surgery. 

Then just after Christmas last year, just gone. She was in hospital and diognosed with brain mets. 

She's just started WBRT. She's changed, lost a bit of coordination and seems slow and not always with it. She's only 64.

I also found out I was pregnant just before Christmas. So it's such a stressful time. I previously had a misscarriage and I'm only 32.

All I can think about is how long I have left with mum and will she meet my baby in August! 

Hi there,

I am so so sorry for your loss. I cannot believe that I missed your message. My mum was doing well and got stronger and stronger. She was on a push bike riding round to my house from around August time last year. Then at Christmas 2019 I started to notice that things were maybe not right....a few things she did started to remind me of what she was like before in terms of behaviours..  2 weeks ago tomorrow my mum had a seizure, totally out of the blue. I had to call for an ambulance and police to get into my mums house as she had left the keys in the door and she was screaming for help. 

She was taken to the hospital by blue lights as it was assumed it was a stroke initially. She later had a further seizure and tests revealed she has a new cancer deposit on her spine, suspected in her neck and that her brain mets had grown slightly causing the swell. She has also fractured her back. 

She is much better than she was before in terms of her mental and physical.abilities but I am absolutely terrified about the future. I can't watch mY mum just deteriorate. It is just so hard xxx

Hi there,

I am so sorry to read your response above. Everything that you have described is basically exactly the same as my mum!!!she was diagnosed in Feb 2017 with stage 4 bowel cancer which has spread to the liver. She has had 4 rounds of chemo and 2 ops since the initial diagnosis and I was pregnant at the time with my son who was born in Sept 2017. She has also always been very positive and to be honest even now does remain positive. 

After the WBRT in May did they warn you that she may get "worse" before she gets better? I know with my mum she was awful a few weeks after the WBRT I was always scared to leave her alone. She would leave the front door open, the gas on once!! She just lost alot of her common sense really it seemed and became almost child like. Then as the weeks went by it almost lifted the haze. I so hope your mum begins to pull through. I am so sorry you are having to go through this, especially pregnant. It is so hard and difficult to understand unless you have been through it yourself xxxxxxxxx

Thank you for replying. 

It is awful watching them deteriorat. How old is your mum?

I'm scared to leave her now, so can imagine after her treatment she will become worse. She's only had two sessions so far, and is scheduled for 10.

I just keep working myself up, terrified that she won't be alive for when I give birth. It's my first baby snd I've been trying for s couple of years.. 

I feel like I sound so selfish, but I don't want to go through this without her. 

We can't even be excited about the baby as I'm so scared for my mum. 

I'm so sorry to hear about it spreading to your mums spine. 

I'm glad she is doing better mentally and physically though, but that must have been terrifying. 

Is she back on chemo? Can they do WBRT again?

Xxxxxx

Hi,

It is absolutely not selfish and dont let yourself think that we only have one mum and that is our protector, our nurturer the one we turn to in a crisis. I totally understand. I feel like I cant cope without my mum. Ultimately we would...we are strong enough to help our mums and carry on. You will be fine but it's not the point is it. 

We dont know next steps for mum until we have our appointment on Tuesday so we will see. Definitely no more radiotherapy available I dont think. I feel sick when i think about it. 

Xxx

Your so right. Thank you for your words and taking time to talk with me. 

I pray for your mum and pray there is more treatment for her. Good luck for Tuesday, I will be thinking of you. Let me know how it goes.

Such a horrible feeling. I can't imagine how our mum's must feel when it's their body. So sad isn't it. 

Took my mum to get her first wig today. Just encase she loses her hair. She wanted to make sure she had one ready. 

She is doing well, just tired and not able to walk too far!

Take care, 

Xxx

Hi there, may I say that everyone on this chat is incredible and well done for being so strong. This is a message to everyone as any information is good information. My question is what were the symptoms the people you are looking after had from the brain mets? Also how were they diagnosed? 
 

Thank you for taking time read this.