Hi  

im looking for some help and advice, my grandmother has been diagnosed with lymphoma that has caused kidney failure, she was very active and fit and all of a sudden she just rapidly went downhill, she’s hospitalised asleep all the time and when she is awake just really confused it’s breaking my heart to see her like this. The doctors have told us that she may not be fit enough for treatment, and the dialysis is what’s keeping her alive as if she was to stop her kidneys would totally fail. They said as she is right now she would not tolerate chemo. All we can do is hope that her health gets a little better so she can have treatment but weve been told she’s very poorly and the next few days are critical 

we are a really close family, my mum lives with my grandmother and me and my sister visit almost everyday, we do everything together, to makes matters worse I have an 8 year old son who is so close with his nana, and he’s been asking me if she’s going to die. Which I honestly don’t know, we are awaiting a biopsy to stage her lymphoma but we’ve already been told it’s very aggressive. 

I have cried once, the day I found out she had lymphoma and that’s it, I’ve been at the hospital everyday we all have, and she’s just worse everytime I see her, but I don’t feel like I’m feeling anything, like im numb, I’m just taking everything matter of fact and I don’t know if I’m in denial or it just hasn’t gone in but I just don’t feel much, I love her so much and I fe given the circumstances I should be breaking down but I’m just kind of taking it like ok this is happening. Is this normal? To feel disconnected? 

My second question is what do I tell my 8 year old, he’s already upset seeing her so I’ll, and I can’t imagine how he would take the news we could lose her. I don’t want to lie to him but I don’t want to scare him either. How can I speak about the reality of what’s happening with him in a non frightening way? He’s asking me questions about what happens if she doesn’t get better, will she die, he started to get very distressed and I’ve kind of just said ‘don’t be silly she’s in the best place, she will be ok’ as I panicked and didn’t want to see him so upset but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do, beavause if anything does happen it could shock and hurt him even more.

sorry this has been so long and if you’ve taken the time to read thank you so much, any advice on dealing with my own emotions and helping my son would be soooo much appr