Hi, 

First of all I'm so sorry to hear this awful news. To be going through it all with your sister to then hear about your partner also is truly heartbreaking :-( I hope all goes well with his op. 

My brother has recently been diagnosed with kidney cancer that has spread to his spine :-( still trying to remain hopeful until full prognosis on Wednesday all I can say is be there for both, with your sister knowing she only has so long make the most of every single day, try to keep things normal if it's one thing I've learnt with my brother he hates every one bringing 'the cancer' up he just wants people there to listen when he wants and is ready to talk. I wish for both of us things were different and our loved ones weren't going through this, it's like a bad nightmare. Hopefully you have friends and other family members to talk to but I'm only a message away on here. I found this forum as a way of venting and looking for help myself and it has helped. 

Take care and stay strong x 

Hello S.shel. I'm sorry we meet under the circumstances however as far as your sister, please enroll her in hospice if you haven't already. It is free to you and provided by government (at least in the U.S ). They are a group of nurses and doctors who will care for your sister either at home, in the hospital or a facility until her last days. I know that it's hard to grasp but you must keep her as comfortable as possible. Hospice provides comfort medications so that your sister is not in any pain or agitation (or fear). If she is bedridden, definitely try to prevent bedsores by repositioning her at least every two hours and keeping her body's pressure points elevated with pillows (such as her ankles, elbows, hips, etc).  Massage her body (arms, legs, back, etc). I used to buy dog pee pads to keep underneath my dad as he was bedridden for the last two months of his life). Play her favorite music and movies, and joke about fun times or even look at pictures together. Hold her hand and comfort her by reassuring her that everything will be okay. Tell her how much you love her. If you really mean it, let her know that it's okay to "go" as your family will be taken care of. If she can still eat, give her light foods and treats that you know she'd enjoy. Eventually, she'll be unable to swallow so please keep her mouth clean and her lips moisturized by using mint swabs. Hospice provides all medical supplies to you so it's better to enroll her sooner than later so that you don't have to spend more money than necessary during this difficult time. 

As for your partner, you mentioned it spread but I'm not sure how much or what stage he is in however pray for a successful surgery. Yes, be with him as much as you can and don't allow him to see your fears (try not to cry infront of him or your sister). Reassure him too that everything will be okay. Be sure to know all the risks involved of the upcoming surgery. Pray that it will be life-saving. In the meantime, please take care of yourself. Allow friends and family to step in and release you of caretaking at least for two hours a day and do something that you really enjoy like go running, bike riding, exercise, read, swim, sleep, etc. You can't take care of someone else if you don't take care of yourself first. I hope this helps. Please don't hesitate to reach out and ask any other questions.