Suenmags

Please do go ahead and feel sorry for yourself because it is completely, 100% reasonable for you to do so xx

Cancer doesn’t just affect the patient...it is as devastating for those that care and love for people who have a diagnosis. 

If you want to pause and feel sorry for yourself and give yourself some compassion and kindness then you must.

Please...do not have any guilt....it is an awful situation for you xx there is absolutely no need for any guilt xx

PS - you are not selfish. You are a very kind and caring person xx 

Thank you for replying. Good to know other people understand

No problem, Suenmags xx 

How are you feeling now? 

Xx

Yes cancer affects the person that has it but it also affects everyone around them especially their primary carers. Your not selfish you just need a break. It's draining physically and emotionally. Your scared to go away for a weekend alone incase anything happens. Iwas lucky with my dad, my sister helped a lot! 

Your not selfish you are surviving

Thanks fo your reply I think you are right. Keep soldiering on and try to have a small break now and then

You are definitely not selfish,don’t be so hard on yourself

Through this forum I have read about Anticipatory Grief, which can affect the patient and the carer,since reading about it I found my symptom mirror this condition,and it makes me feel so much better about my feelings.Look it up it may make you feel better

sending good wishes

Hi Sue,

For what it's worth, I found it harder to get my head around my Mum's cancer than my own.

I think it may be something to do with lack of control. We all want to fix things for those we love but this is one situation where we can't do anything to take it away, just help them cope with it. 

As a patient, I at least have a choice about what treatments to have or not have. 

You are certainly not the first person to feel this way. 

Best wishes

Dave