Advanced Lung Cancer

Hi, my beautiful mum was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer at start of 2018.  She has had 6 rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  It shrunk a little but cancer didnt spread anywhere else.  6th Dec 2018 she had a routine scan, her oncologist seen her and offered her more treatment.  She gave her over xmas to see what her decision would be.  When she seen oncologist at start of January my mum wasnt doing too great.  She had lost a lot of weight, wasnt eating and kept being sick. She was also quite unsteady on her feet.  They decided she would be best to have another scan to see if cancer was now on her brain or anywhere else.  Wednesday 6th Feb she was taken into hospital, she was really sick and couldnt swallow.  Consultant on admissions ward told us the devastating news that the cancer had progressed really fast and was now all over her chest and lymph nodes (not on her brain).  He said she now needs to speak to her family about end of life care and what her wishes are.  She is currently in a respiratory ward.  They say a lymph node is pressing on her oesophagus which is making her sick all the time.  They are trying steroids to see if it will shrink it a little to give her relief.

I am truly heartbroken.  Everything is happening so fast, we have spoken to the palliative care team and now waiting on OH coming to see her to get things sorted to bring my mum home.  I cannot stop crying, my poor mum.  I am trying to take day by day but all I can think of is how bad it will be at the end.  I cry myself to sleep, wake up crying and am truly devastated, my mum is 64.

 

My mum was supposed to get home today. Her bed was all set up and care plan already. My beautiful mum took her last breath at 6am this morning. She was on her own in hospital, she passed in her sleep. Its my sisters birthday. We are all heart broken, sad, devastated, i dont know i just dont know how to explain how i feel. Her only wish was to go home and see her dogs. It was so unexpected, no one thought it would happen today. We visited everyday, yesterday she was struggling to get her words out and was a bit confused. She was still drinking a lot and wasnt in any pain. Her breathing was a bit fast and she was tired. I wish I had stayed longer. I gave her a kiss and cuddle and told her i loved her. I didnt know it would be the last time. We all went in to spend some time with her when she passed. She was a very well loved wife, mum, gran, great gran, sister and aunt. I really do not know how I am going to get through this xx

  • My dear Hay, I am so sorry for the rapid decline in your Mum's health, my husband is in the same situation as your Mum was but he is OK at present.  Cancer is vile and we all live on a knife edge never knowing when it will rear its ugly head. So my heart goes out to you and your poor Mum.  There is nothing I can say to help but I lost my Mum to dementia and that disease lingers for many years giving you time to grieve whilst still here but you have had to cope with a rapid decline so quickly.  We love our Mums they're the backbone of our life and losing them is hard.  But you will have to be strong for your Mum and spend as much time as you can with her.  Post again if you need to talk this forum always let's you know if you re post and if so I will answer again.  In my prayers.  Carol x

  • Thanks so much for your kind reply Dor06.  My mum has a very close family with a husband, 3 daughters and grandchildren.  We are spending as much time with mum as we can.  Although she is sleeping for most of the time, we just sit and hold her hand.  I hope they can sort this awful feeling of nausea for her, and get her more settled.  They are tube feeding her just now.  We knew this day would eventually come, just did not expect it to be so bad so quick.  My mum is a strong woman, I am hoping she gets her wish to come home to spend her limited time with all her family.  

  • I no how your feeling I lost my mum in August 2018 to lung cancer that spread to her brain. she was only 60yrs old we brought mum home to care for her as it was her wishes it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives watching someone you love so much suffer so much i hate cancer so much i wish you and your family all the best in this horrible situation.

  • I hope you all get the final days that you want with Mum in her own home.  X

  • We still havent got my poor mum home yet.  It is planned to have her bed delivered on Wednesday with Mum hopefully getting home on Thursday.  She is so ill.  She sleeps most the time and is losing so much weight.  We have to move her in bed too as she is unable to move onto her side.  I cant believe the difference in her in over a week