Hello, I am sorry you find yourself on this forum but I am certain you will gain a lot of comfort from it.

Firstly let me just say from first hand experience we don't expect our husbands to turn into superman. We know there are no magic wands ( other than the ones our surgeons and oncologists are waving) please just be you...nothing more nothing less...just you....now that really is the best thing you can do...

your wife has the same cancer diagnosis as me...except I had a lumpectomy on jan 3 rd and now awaiting chemo...then radio then the good old hormone inhibitors...

Its a long road but it's one we can do....I am sure there will be others along to offer you support and comfort, perhaps this forum is something your wife might like to look on? It certainly saved my sanity! So many beautiful women giving each other love and support....

And to finish with.....remember what I said, just hold her hand..and let her know you are there walking along side her on this journey.....

xxxx

Thank you for your support, it's nice to hear from others who know the journey. I am however her wife not her husband

We were told at first that a lumpectomy was on the cards but now they feel a mastectomy is the only option and a bilateral mastectomy to prevent further issues.

she is on a few sites/groups already but I will chat about this one with her xx

Doh! Sorry about that.....we mustn't assume anything xx

It all still stands though, every word..... you sound very loving and caring to look up forums to see how you can help her....you will gain strength from these sites, knowing you're not the only ones....we all gain strength from each other.....there is a thread on here called " the good and the bad" started by a lovely lady called Sandra....have a look when you get a chance....it's a good boost.....but also somewhere we can have a good moan.....

take care....keep popping back xxxx

Don't worry.

and thank you again. It's nice just to chat about it to people who know. My wife is my souls mate, without question, the love of my life. I feel like our life has just begun and then this happens. 

What do I do to support her? What can I say to make it better? We're going to see the oncologist today and I'm lost. I know she's just going to say to him that she's not starting chemo until she has hopefully had the option to have her eggs frozen and as much as I want us to have a family of our own I also don't want her to delay treatment. I'm lost and I feel so guilty for that because I should be strong, I should pick my wife up and be the strength that she needs but it's killing me inside watching the woman I love go through hell

xx

W

You make it better by just being there, the only magic words she needs to hear are " I love you and will support you through everything " 

Take your lead from the oncologist, they are the experts. Write down every question you can think of , start making a list now. I know it is possible to freeze eggs before treatment begins but of course I don't know nor am I trained to advise you on this, only your oncologist can do this and the fertility clinic.

All she needs is you, remember that, we don't need or want another version of our soul mate....honest! Xxx