My husband died of pancreatic cancer

My husband was always healthy he looked after me we were always together he got a tummy infection in December gone 2018 gave him antibiotics they asked him to go back in January for a scan on his belly they phoned that afternoon said doctor wants to see us so we went to be told he as a mass and we had to go for a ct scan we thought it was a ulcer or something two weeks later we had the ct scan but my husband wasn't well he was in pain I begged them to give him something but they said no they haven't got results yet that week I took him to hospital with his pain plus he looked yellow that's when they gave us the news it had also spread to his liver , but that wasn't giving him pain his bile duct was blocked because of the pain from that and where they left him so long he hadn't ate for weeks, it was just us waiting so after two weeks in hospital I stayed with him laid at the end of his bed I brought him home didn't want him in a hospice so this is where he died on the 17th March 2018 my first Christmas without him in 30 years he was 55 

Parents
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    Hi Dolly,

    Welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry for the reasom that has brought you here. It certainly sounds as if your husband had a rough time at the end and this must have been very difficult for you, as well as him.

    After losing him at only 55, I can fully understand just how hard Christmas must have been for you this year.

    Do you have any family or friends who can support you?

    I am thinking of you and praying for you to find the strength to get through this.Remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • thanks I have got family and friends but most of the time I shut myself away, we were so very close, I could have my house full every day but he's not there so it don't help so I prefer to be on my own, otherwise I just fake feeling better and it's exusting good bless

Reply Children
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    Hi Dolly,

    I am so sorry to hear that you still feel like this two years on. It is always difficult  to lose a loved one, but at such a young age and so soon after diagnosis, this must have filled you with a lot of anger as well as heartbreak.

    Unfortunately, friends and family stop trying to support you, if you keep pushing them away. You may have to fake feeling better to start with, but eventually you'll find new interests which will start to enhance your life again. If you continue to hide away on your own, with just yourself for company, you are likely to continue to struggle and get more depressed.

    I truly feel for you and, hope that you continue to make the effort with family and friends. You will always hold your husband in your heart. You will never forget him, but you will eventually come to terms with your loss. It takes some people longer than others to come to terms with grief and, I do hope that you will eventually find that you can accept what has happened.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx