Of course it's his choice to refuse treatment but it begs the question - what was the point of using NHS resources, possibly costing thousands of pounds, only to then refuse the expertise offered.

And why get annoyed that the consultant can't give you a precise opinion on longevity? It's not as if you care about it, is it?

Hope he doesn't suffer too much pain.

Hi Nancy,

I've just looked at my earlier reply to you and I didn't like it. Whatever I meant to say wasn't put across and my post looks surly and objectionable.

I would like to apologise unreservedly and I offer no excuses. I'm sorry.

Taff

Sorry for your pain...you’re right, it is your father’s decision as to whether he receives treatment or not. 

A considerarion is......consultants are only human. It is natural for them to feel disappointed when they’re concerned with preserving life/making life as comfortable as possible and your father isn’t (as he has declined treatment). If you put yourself in her shoes...that must be really difficult to hear xx if I were in her position, I know I’d feel the same (even if all the family were behind the person’s decision not to have treatment). 

Also...some people may not be able to have treatment or may have very limited options....and the consultant might find it difficult to accept that someone who has options is declining them (when someone else would jump at the chance).

Will he be kept comfortable, still? I.E receive palliative care? Or has he declined everything? xx

I'm really sorry your parents didn't get the professional care they deserve at your dad's appointment. Unfortunately I have found that some cancer consultants are very good at their jobs but lack a little in bedside manner and come across as abrupt and rude. It's completely your dad's decision whether to accept treatment or not and it would be helpful to have an idea as to how long your dad may survive without treatment. Sometimes, however, it really is very difficult for the doctors to know how long a patient has and sometimes it's a 'best guess' on their part. Perhaps the consultant was expecting your dad to accept the treatment on offer & it threw her a bit when he didn't. Whatever her reasons, I hope that someone now arranges palliative care for when it is needed and that your dad has a good quality of life with you all.

Best wishes

Angie

Taff...have you thought that...

Maybe he's only against certain types of treatment, not all.

Maybe this is because he was fiddled with as a young person and can't bare the thought of letting someone go near his private parts.

Maybe he watched his best friend and brother go through certain treatment, get I'll and die a horrible death.

Maybe you should read the post properly to realise WE are not annoyed, it was the consultant that was annoyed.

Maybe we're allowing our father to live his final days as he wishes rather than in terror and being ill with treatment because we love him and want whatever makes him happy.

Maybe he's worked his entire life, paid his taxes and national insurance and has every right to use the NHS.

Maybe every person has the right to know what's happening to them so they can make their own choice on how to proceed.

Maybe I came on this forum in search of peace because I don't have anyone, am going through all this alone and am breaking.

Maybe you should support rather than judge something you do not know the details of.

Maybe instead of apologising, you should think before you speak/act.

Sorry?...I do not accept. Your damage was done with the first message.

Hello Starcatone 

Thank you for your reply. My father isn't against ALL treatment, he's only against certain types and unfortunately that's all they offered him.

He has accepted pallative care and his doctor is currently searching for something...anything...which he is open minded to.

I understand the frustration she must have felt. I'm just surprise that she couldn't hide her it when talking to the person that's actually dying.

Hi,

This may seem a bit random but I heard this documentary on Radio 4 earlier this year which I thought was interesting and informative.

It looks at the different treatment options available for prostate cancer and recent research on outcomes. www.bbc.co.uk/.../b086s7jr

It seems that doing nothing sometimes has better outcomes  than some of the treatments. 

Best wishes

Dave

Thank you Dave!!! :)