Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 4 replies
  • Views 1153 views
  • Users 0 members are here

My dad has advanced prostate cancer

Hollyboo1991
Offline

The day after my 27th birthday I found out my dad has cancer. At first they thought it was lymphoma because of how it materialised, but it turns out it is advanced prostate cancer - in the prostate, lymphnodes and just recently we found out also in the spine too. He’s having chemo (two so far) and hormone treatment. My dad is my best friend, we are so close that I don’t know how to accept this. I know that it hasn’t been given the word terminal but we don’t know how long he will be with us. They keep using the phrase manageable but not curable. I got engaged the month after we found out - it had been planned a long time before the news. I felt happy but it soon disappeared which saddens me greatly for my partner. I keep thinking, will he be around to walk me down the aisle? to be a grandfather, will my mum be left all alone .. he’s only 58.  I don’t seem to be able to cry about any of this now. I cried so much when I first found out but now I feel numb. I still laugh and smile etc but it all feels so false - except for the moments I share with my dad which are painfully real. I know that he could be around for another 10 years or it could be 1 or 2. The unknown just frustrates me. My dad didn’t cope well initially but I think now he has accepted it and is trying to be strong. I just feel so numb. I feel like I won’t ever be truly happy again - because every child thinks of their parents as immortal. Seeing him sick is so hard 

Parents
  • Offline

    Hi Hollyboo1991, 

    I just want to say I can relate to your situation. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer a couple years and he is still around and feeling good. He doesn't have any pain. The cancer for me has been able to be managed. We were told that he could have 3-5 years when he was diagnosed, so we are praying that he will live much longer than that. I know this is hard to believe right now, but you will get better at managing your emotions, or it will sort of become normal, it will still suck, but it won't feel so heavy all of the time. If you want someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. 

Reply
  • Offline

    Hi Hollyboo1991, 

    I just want to say I can relate to your situation. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer a couple years and he is still around and feeling good. He doesn't have any pain. The cancer for me has been able to be managed. We were told that he could have 3-5 years when he was diagnosed, so we are praying that he will live much longer than that. I know this is hard to believe right now, but you will get better at managing your emotions, or it will sort of become normal, it will still suck, but it won't feel so heavy all of the time. If you want someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. 

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.