Hi there and welcome ...

What a heartbraking situation for you ... it must feel very lonely .. my heart goes out to you ...

I know a terminal diagnosis effects everyone differently .. but you say the loving part of your relationship stopped before .. would you still be together with out the cancer ... what a dilema ...

If I were in your shoes, I'd try and fill my time with your baby who needs you, and just do the best you can do ... there's no easy answer, but it must help just writhing it down and putting it in words .. l don't know how or why your husband is shutting you out .. sometimes people with cancer do that to loved ones because they think they will make it easier .. but only he knows that ..

Try calling McMillan free phone, or the nurses on here have one, and I'm sure they would help with feelings and would listen .. don't hold it all in .. your brain is trying to make sense of it all, where there is none ... hold on and I'm sending you a big hug .. think you need one ... chrissie 

Evening, 

Pretty new to all of this and only recently started posting here but I’m sorry to hear of your situation and how you’re feeling. 

Its a a tough situation to be in, clearly you’ve just brought something special in to the world but at the same time you’re losing someone just as important & have no control over it. I had my first child just under 2 years ago and unfortunately a month later my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer & secondary cancer, thankfully she is still here and I cherish that everyday but reality is one day it’s going to come to an end, unfortunately way before her time so I can slightly relate to your situation.

I guess everyone handles it differently and he is likely just trying to do all the things he wants to before his time comes but ultimately you will be the one left here on your own with your baby looking back at all the things you wish you’d done together - with that in mind, why don’t you suggest that you take some time out together? Just the two of you, maybe some family could help out with the little one so you can enjoy some final memories to cherish, but most importantly spending time together doing some family activies & take lots of photos and videos so the baby has something to look back at and remember his dad as he gets older. 

C x

Hi fussy01

im in a similar position with my husband. He was diagnosed at the end of April and has been undergoing radiotherapy and chemotherapy. It’s been a really tough road for him physically but for me mentally and emotionally. 

Like you, I have been doing everything at home with little or no input which in itself is exhausting. We also have not been intimate for a long time and he doesn’t seem to take on board how I’m feeling - he tells me that I can’t talk about how I feel because I have to be strong for him and there is no point in looking to the future and live for the moment. 

Ive recently been having increasing anxiety attacks about what the future holds. I would say go to your GP. They are there to support you as much as they are your husband. I’ve been signed off work and on antidepressants. I go to counselling and have fortnightly reviews with my GP. It makes things slightly more bareable. 

Please try to take time to look after yourself. I found that very hard at first but you can’t do anything running on empty. 

Xx