Hi Ella...

I can only tell you what I'd do, on the info I've read ... 

I would write to him .. because you can't interrupt a letter ... or quarrel ... I'd tell him, l know he's doing this alone to protect me ... and I'd admit I'm scared .. but I'd tell him im more scared not knowing ... that by protecting me, isn't what I need right now .. I'd tell him im going nowhere ... and that if it's too hard to see me, I'll respect that, and stay in the shadows ... but only till he's ready to let you in ... if he sees there's no pressure , he may be then would slowly let you in.. but you have to do it at his pace ... and ask him even if it's too painfull to see you right now .. maybe he could call you and just chat ..

He's probly quarelling with you, because your not listening to him .. really listen ... and if you can stand back a tad ... and stay calm and let him lead the way, weather it's space or just keeping things light ..

I have cancer too .. and know that's what my loved ones did for me ... they let me walk my cancer journey , holding my hand and listening to me ... my son was at first like you ... and I couldn't bare to look at his face and see the worry and panic ... but when I got everything I needed out of my head ... I let him in, and he had his head together too ... and then I could see him and let him hold my hand through my journey ..

So I'm sending you a big hug ... do this right and you won't loose him ... Chrissie