Hello Susan5458; welcome to this forum.  Sorry to hear about your mum and your worries about her condition.  There does not seem to be any hard-and-fast rules about how cancer patients feel from day-to-day.  Has she had any change in her meds which may have made her feel a bit better?  Sometimes people perk up a bit becuase they have come to terms with something that may have been bothering them.  I have helped care for terminally ill cancer patients and while their general physical condition did  gradually deteriorate I also found that for a short time they could perk up for a while.  If you feel it could help you then you can ring the nurses here (Freefone 0808 800 4040 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) and have a chat about your mum's condition. 

I lost  my mum to cancer some years ago now; there is no getting away from the heartbreaking reality but if your mum is not in pain and seems calm then that is a relief.  Best wishes to you and your family.  Annie

Hi there Susan... so sorry you are all going through this heartbraking stage ...

This is just my experience and I may well be wrong ... but I've known quite a few seem to get a good couple of days, just when it looks like there's  no hope, and near the end ... ...  but it's happened with ones really close to me, and others I know who found this sudden spurt of energy and clarity ... 

It's only my thoughts, but I believe we get a chance to say things and hear things that need to be said .. it's a time to push all other thoughts away and hold on to this moment ... weather it's hours, days, or more ... we so often let that time slip away thinking they are getting better ... so grab it with both hands ..and say all what's in your heart ...sending you both a big hug ... Chrissie

Hi Susan. I’m so sorry that you are going through this with your lovely mom. I can’t believe how similar your story is to mine with my mother!

My mom also had breast cancer, that was two years ago. It was treated and she seemed fine. But then in February this year she was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to her breast and her leg (which I think means bones).

During her last three weeks (including 10 days in ICU), it was the roller coaster from hell. I would literally think she was dying and be crying so much. Then the next day, there would be a bit of hope!

When they transferred her to palliative care the roller coaster went wild. I became certain she was dying and started preparing myself for it. Then four days before she passed she suddenly seemed almost normal!!!! She was sitting up, we were chatting, she was famished and requested a cheese burger from McDonald’s! A rare indulgence for her! She also enjoyed a coffee, and a donut. We were talking about politics (her favourite subject). I was suddenly filled with so much hope! But I knew that she’d probably be very tired the next day. Because for a long time my mom hardly ever had two good days in a row. Particularly if there was any kind of excitement.

I couldn’t have prepared myself for the next day. It was just so beyond what any of her worst days had ever looked like. And so the roller coaster was on the move again, and once again I was worried. But then two days later she was able to talk again! She was wanting to drink coffee, and was eating a bit. So I started to have hope again.

Even the morning before she passed, there was a glimmer of hope. She was able to talk a bit. But then they sedated her. Then there was the syringe driver. We never saw her awake again, and she passed the next day. 

I wish I’d known that this was common! As Chriss says, when those moments of clarity happen, grab it with both hands!!!! Say what you need to say. It is a gift we are given.

Sending warm wishes and strenth your way.

Thanks Annie for taking the time to get back to me. Defo not the easiest time just nowxx

Thanks Christie. Appreciate that xx