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My Grandad is dying

S95
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My grandad has been battling pancreatic cancer for a while now. It spread to his lungs and stomach and he is now at the final stages. It is so heartbreaking to see, my mum and nan are staying with him at home with him as he refuses to go to the hospice, I find it hard to see him, he's a different person now, I want to be there for him but I don't know how to be. I know that the end is near but you just can't prepare for it, and I know when the time comes it will affect me badly. I feel so low but I also feel guilty because it's not even me with the cancer, I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself.

  • Offline in reply to Shan94

    Grandparents should definitely count as immediate family, my grandad is like a dad to me, i used to see him every week even before he became ill. 

    My situation is exactly the same, he has decided he wants to die at home so my mum has moved in to help my nan. I visit when I can, but he was always so active and wanting to do things, he hates not being able to do anything. He literally just sits in his arm chair either sleeping or staring into space, he seems so lifeless and he gets so confused. 

    I've used my annual leave for this week, but I only have 6 days left, so once that is up, i'll have to take it unpaid, loosing someone close to you isn't something you can just get over is it. 

    It sounds like you have been so strong though, and you're right this site has helped, I never saw myself posting on something like this but it helps to speak to people who know what you're going through, because unless you're going through it you really cannot understand how it feels. 

    Sasha x

  • Offline in reply to S95

    100% who should even get to decide who classes as immediate family and who doesn’t anyway, loads of people these days grow up with other family members!

    i hope he loves the fact of being at home, they were just about to do that with Grandad but the same day he was due to come home he went into the coma and then passed, but the staring and confusion I know that all so well, just made me cry every time I’d see him like it, you sound like you’re being extremely strong aswell 

    same here, I always thought how would continually talking about it help me, but it I’m really is, and I’m so happy to have spoken to you.

    shan x

  • Offline in reply to Shan94

    Exactly! I mean i'd be upset even if a close friend died!

    That's horrible, I know what you mean, I try not to cry infront of my grandad in case he realises but as soon as i leave the room it just all comes out! 

    I'm scared of it happening but at the same time I just wish he could let go so he doesn't have to suffer like this anymore. It's heartbreaking! 

    I hope going back to work goes okay for you on monday, I'm happy to have spoken to you too! Its under the worst circumstances but its nice to know that people care and understand. 

    Feel free to message me anytime, I'm also going to need people to talk even more when the time comes. 

    Sasha x

  • Offline in reply to S95

    I know exactly what you mean, fair play to you for holding back your tears until out of the room, I tried and failed!

    and Thankyou, I hope you going to work, works out all okay for you aswell! And 100% I’ll be here all the time, and especially when the time comes 

    shan xx

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