Hello Hartney and welcome to this forum.  So sorry about the problems you are going through, made even more difficult by the attitude taken by your husband.  I don't have any easy answers to this but didn't want you to wait longer for a response so am copying some information from this website about why cancer patients become angry sometimes.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../guilt-blame-anger

I don't know if this tells you anything you don't know and it is clear that you have tried everything you can imagine to try to reach him.  But I am pleased you have come here to tell us what you are going through and hope that someone can help you.  Have you tried ringing MacMillan Cancer Support (Freefone 0808 808 0000) - they seem to know all the possible permutations of how cancer can affect people and give help to people caring for cancer patients.   Best wishes.  Annie

Hi Hartney,

Your story sounds very familiar, not that that is any help.

Is he receiving any treatment for his negative moods? Cancer is bad enough to cope with but if you are prone to depression, or even if you're just a grumpy b*gger, the stress of having cancer can often exaggerate your negative behaviours.

If he wants time on his own, let him have it. Get out of the house and have some "me time" - take the day off from being a carer. It might do you both good. It is hard to appreciate the care someone is giving you if it is constant. Even the nicest of us go stir-crazy if we're with someone all the time. 

Look after yourself, give yourself a break - it sounds like you need and deserve one!

Best wishes

Dave

Thank you this has helped open a dialogue at least. I sent the link to him- sometimes it helps to see things in black and white.

Hi Dave,

It is such a relief to have some advice here thank you. Just to know we are not going crazy! 

Thank you and best wishes.

Fingers crossed!  Annie