Hi jolamine,

So he did have his surgery. The tumors were located in his nasal passages which apparently is very rare but it does happen. He got them completely removed & he didnt have to get any chemo which is great. I'm happy that he's getting better. He has been through alot during that month. His 15 month old recently passed away suddenly. Which was very hard for anyone who knew him. This time around though he let me be by his side & help him through this difficult time. It's been hard but I feel like we are getting to a place where we can talk & just be there for each other now. Its still a journey but it's getting better.

Xx

Hi there Phoenix. .

Hope you don't mind me popping back, but I stepped back for awhile, as you had the best advice any one could have from jolomine ... I know, coz she took me under her wing when I was on my scary early days .. she doesn't realise just how wonderfull she is ...

But just wanted to say, glad it's getting a bit better on communicating... this cancer has a way of isolating us as everyone can imagine what we go through, but only when you have it, do we fully understand ... so just sending you a big vertual hug on learning how to walk this journey, holding on together ... hope it gets better and better ... chrissie

Hi Chriss,

Yes she has been a big part of me getting through this and I really do appreciate her. It's been a struggle but I'm glad things are getting better and I'm glad that I was able to stay strong for him and be there. 

Thank you that means alot to me.

Hugsxx

I so hope someone can tell me this is normal. 

My boyfriend of a year has had spine cancer it had gone but come bad bad.  One day ago he was told this. Texted me saying he did not want to see me anymore wanted to be single to get over this on his own did not need any stress etc.  

Iv never felt so useless. I love him so much but only told him today. Why is he doing this to me 

Whenever I’m scared or confused I push away the closest people to me. I’m not saying I can relate to your boyfriend in what he’s going through, but just that he must be going through a large number of emotions right now. I’ve personally been extremely worried about my own health for the past 2 weeks or so and only told my family 3 days ago. For me, it’s because I don’t want to face it and everyone who’s close to me knowing can make things feel more real in a way. Just don’t push him and just let him know you’re there for when he needs you. I’m sure there’s a good possibility he’ll come around. Sorry if this didn’t help. 

Tk you so much for replying how kind of you.  I'm sure he is very scared. He finds it hard to talk and show his feelings so this must be hard for him.. He knows I'm here and I do care so much.  

Hi.Perry,

I am so sorry to hear of the situation between you and your boyfriend. Unfortunately, this is something that happens with a lot of people at this stage.

Bear in mind that he is probably.more aware of his own mortality now and he possibly doesn't want to drag loved ones into this vortex that he finds himself in. I' m sure that he is likely to be afraid of what lies ahead and is trying to protect you. Sadly, pushing all away doesn't help his situation.

It is so much easier if he can talk openly to someone about how he feels concerning all aspects of this disease. Many people start off by denying the existance of cancer even to themselves. This doesn't help us and acceptance gradually arrives.

When we accept the inevitable, we start to open up about our emotions and treatment options and this is when he is likely to need you. 

If you go to the search bar at the top of this page, click on the search engine on the blue banner and insert 'boyfriend pushing me away'..and then click. This will bring up previous posts on this topic, which you may find helpful.

Cancer puts a nig strain on a lot of relationships, but I hope that, with patience, you will get back on track again

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on.We ate always here for you.

Kimd regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi,

I am in a similar situation. My distant BF was recently diagnosed. Since then he hardly talks to me. Love him so much that it really hurts. He doesn't like to talk about it eiter. Really don't understand what to do, how he feels. I just wish he had shared this feelings on this with me. Hardly responds to my messages.

Hi Desidiva,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear that you find yourself in this unenviable situation. I cannot really add any more than I said in my reply to Perry above.

You do not mention what age your boyfriend is, or what type and grade of cancer he has. These are all important factors when considering the outcome.

Kind regards,
Jolamine xx