Hi Sunshine, 

Welcome and love your nick-name.

Having lost my father who lived in Canada just over two years ago and my mother nearly twelve years ago plus another ten family members over the years the answer is I dont really know but we do cope, possibly because we have to. 

I know all to well how hard it is watching someone you love suffering from this awful disease. I think the hardest part is knowing there is nothing much we can do except to love and support them as best we can. We try hard to put on brave faces for them and our families whille inside we are falling apart.

By joining this site, you have done the right thing for its not always easy to talk to family of friends about our inner fears and feelings in an open and honest way. Far easier to talk to strangers on here but who know what we are going through as often they have been through the same thing. 

Being positive will help you father and he sounds like quite a man. 

I wish you, your father and brother kind thoughts and please keep in touch, Brian. 

Hello, 

Very sorry to hear about what you're going through with your father. He sounds like a very strong man. I know he was given a short time frame but there's nothing to say he can't outlive that by far. He is his own individual person coping in his own special way and it's working for him fine. So it is important to make the most of time and be thankful for each day that he is here rather than be on a countdown. Easier said than done I know. 

I'm 28, I lost my Dad in August...almost 5 months ago now. Didn't expect to lose my Dad at my age but unfortunately for me I did. How do we cope? Well I'm still in the early days but believe it or not we cope with inner strength. I always assumed I was weak, very sensitive and I'd crumble into a heap. But something inside me is keeping me strong and giving me the strength to cope with this new life without my Dad. Don't get me wrong it is the hardest thing ever and it hurts like no other pain but you start to learn to live with it. My Dad suffered towards the end so when he died I was thankful that he was out of pain, out of suffering and I accepted that because I love him and didn't want him going through any more than he already had. Most days I feel numb and I'm quite glad I do because this helps to block out the pain. Life does go on, it's sad and you do feel guilty when you do try to get on with things but I do it to help myself and because I know what my Dad would be saying if I didn't. If you do feel like you want to chat, or just tell someone how you're feeling then feel free to message me. It can be a lonely and scary place dealing with grief. 

Sorry to hear about your dad.  My husband was given 3-6 months in November 2017 (after being diagnosed with bowel cancer with mets to liver and peritoneum) 7 months before. He did 9 rounds of chemo and was on a chemo break when he was taken into hospital with a bowel obstruction.  They scanned him and told him that the peritoneum cancer was aggressive and had spread hugely.  He is back on chemo and going for his 3rd round next week.  He his now going into his 3rd month of the 3-6 month diagnosis and is feeling ok, going to work and still going to the gym.  Have they got it wrong do you think, or is something going to take him down suddenly?? Seems a similar situation to your dad.

Hello Macmaurice, 

Just saw your reply to Sunshine63. 

Very sorry to you also about your husband. Not sure if you've seen any of my posts or comments on here. My Dad had bowel cancer he was diagnosed April 2015 it had already spread to his lungs and liver when diagnosed. Classed as incurable and was given 2 years to live. He also had a bowel obstruction a few months after diagnosis and had emergency surgery to remove 75% of his bowel and managed to avoid needing a colostomy bag. Last April the cancer spread to his brain and he passed away on the 23rd August (almost 5 months ago). 

In your comment you said do you think they've got it wrong? When doctors mention about prognosis they don't know for certain that this will be the exact time limit the patient has. It is down to statistics. So they look at other patients who have had that particular cancer and spread etc and how long they roughly survived and that is usually how they come about giving these specific time frames. Nothing at all to say a patient can't outlive their prognosis by months and even years. It all really depends on the patients overall health and how they are responding to any treatment given. No it doesn't change the fact that the patient is seriously ill and will highly likely die from their cancer if incurable. If your husband is keeping well then that is a positive and if he's responding to treatment then that is great. The sad thing about cancer is it can sneak up on you suddenly and become aggressive. For example my Dad was responding well to his chemo and a CT scan showed that his cancer had stabilised meaning it hadn't grown at all or spread anywhere else. So he was given a break from chemo. During the break he started randomly behaving out of character so my mum took him to the hospital. After looking at his brain they discovered the cancer had spread there. We couldn't believe it he was doing so well, looked really well in fact he looked better than ever. Then he deteoriated rapidly and died within 4 months. Still unbelievable. Sad thing is CT scans don't scan the head area so this can easily be missed as their looking at the rest of the body when they should be scanning the whole body from head to toe.