Hi Sunshine, 

Welcome and love your nick-name.

Having lost my father who lived in Canada just over two years ago and my mother nearly twelve years ago plus another ten family members over the years the answer is I dont really know but we do cope, possibly because we have to. 

I know all to well how hard it is watching someone you love suffering from this awful disease. I think the hardest part is knowing there is nothing much we can do except to love and support them as best we can. We try hard to put on brave faces for them and our families whille inside we are falling apart.

By joining this site, you have done the right thing for its not always easy to talk to family of friends about our inner fears and feelings in an open and honest way. Far easier to talk to strangers on here but who know what we are going through as often they have been through the same thing. 

Being positive will help you father and he sounds like quite a man. 

I wish you, your father and brother kind thoughts and please keep in touch, Brian. 

Hello, 

Very sorry to hear about what you're going through with your father. He sounds like a very strong man. I know he was given a short time frame but there's nothing to say he can't outlive that by far. He is his own individual person coping in his own special way and it's working for him fine. So it is important to make the most of time and be thankful for each day that he is here rather than be on a countdown. Easier said than done I know. 

I'm 28, I lost my Dad in August...almost 5 months ago now. Didn't expect to lose my Dad at my age but unfortunately for me I did. How do we cope? Well I'm still in the early days but believe it or not we cope with inner strength. I always assumed I was weak, very sensitive and I'd crumble into a heap. But something inside me is keeping me strong and giving me the strength to cope with this new life without my Dad. Don't get me wrong it is the hardest thing ever and it hurts like no other pain but you start to learn to live with it. My Dad suffered towards the end so when he died I was thankful that he was out of pain, out of suffering and I accepted that because I love him and didn't want him going through any more than he already had. Most days I feel numb and I'm quite glad I do because this helps to block out the pain. Life does go on, it's sad and you do feel guilty when you do try to get on with things but I do it to help myself and because I know what my Dad would be saying if I didn't. If you do feel like you want to chat, or just tell someone how you're feeling then feel free to message me. It can be a lonely and scary place dealing with grief. 

Sorry to hear about your dad.  My husband was given 3-6 months in November 2017 (after being diagnosed with bowel cancer with mets to liver and peritoneum) 7 months before. He did 9 rounds of chemo and was on a chemo break when he was taken into hospital with a bowel obstruction.  They scanned him and told him that the peritoneum cancer was aggressive and had spread hugely.  He is back on chemo and going for his 3rd round next week.  He his now going into his 3rd month of the 3-6 month diagnosis and is feeling ok, going to work and still going to the gym.  Have they got it wrong do you think, or is something going to take him down suddenly?? Seems a similar situation to your dad.

Sunshine 63, 

I am 22 years old and it will be 5 years this year that I have lost my mum to terminal cancer, like you’re Dad she was incredibly positive, even through it all. 

I have to be honest, the way to cope is allowing yourself to feel emotions and talk to people. I think it’s really easy in times like this, to play the strong one and you feel weak, even for that ounce of time that you feel sad, as it almost feels selfish? 

No one quite can understand, like someone who has been through it and it sounds amazing that you’re making all these beautiful memories with him. 

Nothing can compare you for the day, but you’re allowed to be raging mad, upset.. you’re also allow to enjoy yourself too. 

Coming to terms - The saying is true, it’s like a wave. 

I too believe, coming here is the right place to come and talk, discuss your feelings.

Think about all the things you did as a child growing up, watching a favorite film, going to that park you always went to and relive it again with your father. 

Sitting down and having conversations about the ideals of life and treasure every moment. 

How do I cope?

I thank my lucky stars that I had a Mum like I did, for those 17 years. Some people are not so lucky in life, but to have unconditional love, is something that can be treasured forever and shared when you have children too. 

If you ever need to talk, keep on posting.

i send all my love and one of my favorite quotes;

” you are braver than you believe, smarter than you think and stronger than you seem” - Christoper Robin