How to help a friend

Hi there

I have a friend who was diagnosed with stage 1 aggressive breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy, internal radiotherapy and 5 weeks of normal radiotherapy. She was then put on Zoladex for 5 years.

A few weeks after she finished Radiotherapy she told me that she was on a trial having chemotherapy. This shocked me as I thought ghe doctors were pleased with her progress and no further treatment was needed.  She told me that her blood had shown markers but they didn't know where the cancer was so they were putting her on a chemotherapy trial to try and eradicate it.

 

I am very worried about her for a number of reasons not least because she won't accept any help and I wondered if anyone has any advice on how to support a very independent friend?

Thank you in advance 

  • Hi there ... it's one of the hardest things when someone you care about goes on their cancer journey... and every one is different on the way they want help ... so it's mostly a guessing game ... if it were me, i would appreciate someone saying, I'm just here waiting if you need me, it's o.k if you want space, and time, but I'm just a phone call away ... and sending a hug every so often ... or just I'm thinking of you ...

    Hope you get some more answers and find a way to help your friend ... you sound a great buddy ... all the best ... Chrissie xx 

  • Hi

     

    The best thing you can do for your friend is be her friend.

    Take your lead from her if

    she wants to talk fine if not don't push it. Just let her know you are there when she needs someone including any practical help- lifts to appointments, shopping.

    Two of my friends used to phone me a couple of days after my chemo when they knew I was having a bad time and just chatted. They also knew that any arrangements could be cancelled at the last minute if I was not feeling well.

    Look up " what not to say to someone with cancer" thread on here for a few tips.