I’m 15 years old. My mom is 64 years old and has non small cell lung cancer stage 4. Initially my mom had a cough that didn’t go away. We thought nothing of it. She had a growth in her left thyroid that was causing her to have breathing problems. She had surgery and got it removed we had no idea that it was cancer that had spread. My mom went into the doctors and they did a breathing test for her cough. They found the cancer. They predicted it was cancer and they were right, they said the cancer has been there for at least 2 years and if we hadn’t caught it when we did she would be dead. the tumor in her lung was 7cm. This was in March. They did a scan for her whole body. The cancer spread to her brain. She went through radiation and lost her hair but as far as we know the cancer is gone from there. This summer we spent time in the er. My mom had blood clots in her lungs. She was put on oxygen and on blood thinners. My mom can no longer walk good. The cancer has spread to her leg. The doctors said it would be easy to treat though. Because of this they’re going to be switching all her meds. The tumor hasn’t grown but it hasn’t shrunk so they want to use a stronger medicine. That’s the background of it I guess. But I don’t know how to even begin to tell all my feelings. It sucks. It makes me so mad. Me and my mom always fought and now she’s dying. And I say she’s dying because that’s the truth of it. She’s going to die and there’s nothing we can do about it except take her to her treatments and let the doctors give her medicine that is suppose to make her better but at the same time completely alter herself and make her weak. She sleeps all day. I say goodbye to her every morning go to school then come home and say hello and hug her and go about my day. This isn’t how it’s suppose to be. She’s suppose to leave every morning to go to work and come to pick me up. I feel so awful for my dad. He’s been my hero and someone I looked up to forever. And now he’s doing everything My Mom once did. Sometimes I feel left out of the family and it hurts. Because I’m in so much pain emotionally and I can’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t tell my friends because I know that they wouldn’t understand and I don’t want them to pity me. But it’s like I’m mad. I’m mad and I can’t explain it. Today me and my mom fought a little and when she told my dad my dad and my brother got completely upset with me they acted like I was the most awful person. But I’m not. I don’t know how to deal with this I’ve cried all day. I want someone to care but there’s no one I can truly go to. I told one person and then apologized cause i figured it was unnecessary and he told me “it’s okay talking helps”. And that was the last time I ever heard of it. What I’m saying now doesn’t even make sense honestly but I just needed to get this out of my head. I tried
