Hi Mandy,

It's good to talk.  My mum has been diagnosed with terminal secondary liver cancer and I feel guilty I'm not there for her every second of the day. (Which is impossible). I have a husband and family, who at the moment seem to be coming second best, but when I do spend time with them, all I think about is mum.  It's only natural for us to feel like this, so we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.  My mum has been stopped all treatment now and is refusing to eat, I feel guilty everyday that I leave her as this maybe the last time I do.  She also is getting confused and paranoid now and saying we don't love her, which breaks my heart as mum would never say those things.

We are only human, and guilt is a natural emotion but you are definitely not alone.  Make lovely memories whilst you can.

Jenny xxx

Thank you so much for your reply Jenny. Yes it's an impossible situation isn't. I try every day to "keep going" & be as positive as I can be but at the end of the day you only lose your mum once and it's always going to be a traumatic experience. Unfortunately with cancer you can end up in this limbo for quite some time. 

I hope things go as well as they can do for you. This forum is good for realising you're not alone which I find comforting especially when I can't sleep. 

Take care

mandy  

A friend of mine sent this to me.  She has no idea my struggles with myself over my daughter being diagnosed with Stage IV BC.

If you're depressed, you're living in the past,

If you're anxious, you're living in the future,

If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

I printed this and pasted it in every room in my house as a reminder.

Judy