My hubby, aged 46,  has advanced bowel cancer. He's been referred to a specialist bowel hospital in Harrow. I'm so different to him in terms of I'd want to know everything about the treatment, the op, the recovery and prognosis. Yet hubby doesn't even read the hospital letters. He's just had chemo #4 out of 6.  They're 2 weeks apart. Then he'll have the many different scans to see how chemo went and to re-stage the beast. Stage 3 or 4 is pretty much expected. He's a T3N2Mx. Looking very likely he has mets in his liver. Then he'll be having a pelvic exenteration (all organs in the pelvis removed) as well as his tail bone. He already has an ileostomy but will have a urostomy fitted in the op too.

I've researched the hell out of the proceedure. And I can tell you it's scary. 

I'm trying to keep 'upbeat for him and the kids (20, 18, 14, 12) whilst trying to prepare for the changes coming. It's so hard to approach things with him though. I feel like I'm driving at 100mph towards a brick wall and the brakes have failed.