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Mesothelioma

abucknall70
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my dad was diagnosed with Mesothelioma cancer August 16, my dad has struggled with pain, has a permanenet drain in his chest and has been in and out of hospital but he has pulled through, these last few months we have watched my dad deteriate, he is extremely unsteady on his feet, he has lost 4 stone in six months, he has not been eating or drinking much as he just does not feel like it, with have tried to help him live everyday to the full and try and continue with daily activites, my dad lives on his own he had a fall last week which has knocked his confidence and I worry that he will have more falls, the doctor came and said that he really needs to be in a hospice but I don't want to take away my dads independance, family members all rally around and care for him during the day, he now has ulcers all in his mouth and on the outside and it is very painful when eating and drinking which is not helping matters. He has deteriated more over the last couple of weeks.  It really upsets me seeing my dad like this, has anyone else experience these symptons, I feel so helpless sometimes.

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    Hi Abucknall,

    I am sorry to hear about your Dad’s diagnosis. It is so heart-breaking to watch the one you love deteriorate before your eyes. It sounds as if he has had a particularly rough time. I am glad to hear that the family are rallying around to help him with daily living.

    It is so difficult to try and let someone keep their independence, especially when they start falling and are becoming a danger to themselves. Has he been prescribed any medication for his mouth ulcers? My Mum had a problem with mouth ulcers and was eventually prescribed an anti-fungal spray, which helped a little. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer and she coped with this for 11 years before she developed secondaries in her liver, lungs, brain, breast and bone. She survived for another year after that, but it was horrendous to watch her becoming frailer day-by-day.

    There is so little that we can do at this stage and you do feel helpless. All you can do is to be there for your Dad, show him that you love him, keep him as comfortable as possible, see if there is anything he wants to do or anyone he wants to see.

    Unfortunately, there are several people on this site in the same position as you – hopefully, some of them will come along soon and give you more useful tips.

    Please keep us updated on how your Dad id faring and remember that there is always somene here to talk to whenever you feel the need.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    Hi Jolamine

     

    Thank you for your reply, my dad has deteriated more since my last post, we have called in the macmillan nurses to which it has been decided that for now he will have one day in the hospice and we also have a weekly visit from the macmillan, we have had to take away all his medication as my dad did not know when to take it even though he has a pill box with an alarm on it that goes off when he should have his tablets, but because he has alzeheimers and dementia which is getting really bad now he gets confused so easily now. He is not eating very well at all just doesn't feel like eating , he has lost more weight, he has become more aggressive and will argue about the slightest thing which is very upsetting.  It feels like we are losing the battle and that my dad is giving up. We have always tried to be so positive but it has become very difficult and very upsetting. I just don't know what to do for the best.

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