Hi Abucknall,

I am sorry to hear about your Dad’s diagnosis. It is so heart-breaking to watch the one you love deteriorate before your eyes. It sounds as if he has had a particularly rough time. I am glad to hear that the family are rallying around to help him with daily living.

It is so difficult to try and let someone keep their independence, especially when they start falling and are becoming a danger to themselves. Has he been prescribed any medication for his mouth ulcers? My Mum had a problem with mouth ulcers and was eventually prescribed an anti-fungal spray, which helped a little. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer and she coped with this for 11 years before she developed secondaries in her liver, lungs, brain, breast and bone. She survived for another year after that, but it was horrendous to watch her becoming frailer day-by-day.

There is so little that we can do at this stage and you do feel helpless. All you can do is to be there for your Dad, show him that you love him, keep him as comfortable as possible, see if there is anything he wants to do or anyone he wants to see.

Unfortunately, there are several people on this site in the same position as you – hopefully, some of them will come along soon and give you more useful tips.

Please keep us updated on how your Dad id faring and remember that there is always somene here to talk to whenever you feel the need.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine

Thank you for your reply, my dad has deteriated more since my last post, we have called in the macmillan nurses to which it has been decided that for now he will have one day in the hospice and we also have a weekly visit from the macmillan, we have had to take away all his medication as my dad did not know when to take it even though he has a pill box with an alarm on it that goes off when he should have his tablets, but because he has alzeheimers and dementia which is getting really bad now he gets confused so easily now. He is not eating very well at all just doesn't feel like eating , he has lost more weight, he has become more aggressive and will argue about the slightest thing which is very upsetting.  It feels like we are losing the battle and that my dad is giving up. We have always tried to be so positive but it has become very difficult and very upsetting. I just don't know what to do for the best.