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My mums lung cancer is incurable, I feel heartbroken

Dory41
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I posted on here early last month. We found out my mum had lung cancer and it was also in the lymph nodes in the chest. The consultant/surgeon was hopeful that surgery would remove most of the cancer. Sadly when they opened her up they realised it was worse than first thought, and had to abort the surgery. This was two weeks ago, we were still hopeful that she could be offered chemo/radiotherapy but were told yesterday that it is incurable. She is now under the specialist palliative care team. I'm struggling to cope, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions since we found out and the news yesterday floored me. My mum is usually such a strong determined lady, but she looks so scared and worried. I don't know what to do to help. We don't know how long she has left, we will find out on Friday. I just wish this was all a bad dream. Feeling utterly devastated at the thought of losing my beautiful mum. 

  • Offline in reply to gonerae
    Hello, I am so sorry to hear this My Mum sadly passed away 10 days ago. She was hospitalised 10 days prior as the cancer spread to her brain (that was always a big possibility with the type she had) and that caused her to lose power in her legs and speech, she started having seizures/possible strokes in hospital. She survived a year after being diagnosed. It’s heartbreaking and I know exactly how you are feeling. I’m grateful my Mum didn’t suffer for long and she went peacefully. I can’t describe how I feel now, other than angry, sad and lost. I hope you have a good support network to help you through the times ahead. All I will say is say everything you want to say to your Mum while you can, there was some conversations I wanted to have with my Mum but I put them off as I thought it may upset her, then she deteriorated so quickly and then she was gone so it was too late. Sending lots of love xxx
  • Offline in reply to cassie123

    I am so sorry to hear your Mum passed away. Only good thing is she went peacfully which I wish for my mum so much...thank you for all your words.. today we have conversation and fist time she said she is aware nit long time let for her. All the time i was pretending is much better then actually is. Hopfully we will spent more time now talking more openly as we both now not much time left.  Thank you again for your respond, i understand how difficult time must be now fir you and your family. All my thougths with you and your family xxx

  • Offline in reply to gonerae

    Thank you sweetie, All the best to you too.I feel sad for you and your Mum as I know how you are feeling and it’s horrible. I know it feels like life is going to be unbearable without Mum and I know it’s only early days for me but I feel that I will be ok (and so will you) life feels so so cruel at times, especially when people are taken so young, but we will always find a way to cope. I try to remember that nobody can take away memories and I like to think she’s in a much better place. It is a really lonely time.

    xx

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