Cancer Research UK main site

My mums lung cancer is incurable, I feel heartbroken

Dory41
Offline

I posted on here early last month. We found out my mum had lung cancer and it was also in the lymph nodes in the chest. The consultant/surgeon was hopeful that surgery would remove most of the cancer. Sadly when they opened her up they realised it was worse than first thought, and had to abort the surgery. This was two weeks ago, we were still hopeful that she could be offered chemo/radiotherapy but were told yesterday that it is incurable. She is now under the specialist palliative care team. I'm struggling to cope, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions since we found out and the news yesterday floored me. My mum is usually such a strong determined lady, but she looks so scared and worried. I don't know what to do to help. We don't know how long she has left, we will find out on Friday. I just wish this was all a bad dream. Feeling utterly devastated at the thought of losing my beautiful mum. 

  • Oh Dory, I'm so sorry to hear your mum's news, what an incredibly difficult time this must be for all of you!

    I hope that chatting here will give you some comfort and that our members will soon pop by to offer their support. Post as much as you need, we will be always here to listen.

    If at any point in time you wish to speak to someone on the phone, our cancer nurses are available on this number 0808 800 4040, Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

    Keep us posted, Dory, we're thinking of you.

    Best wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    I just want to give you a huge hug as I'm going through the same and only found out Wednesday, my mum has sclc and it's in her lymph nodes, we don't find out till Thursday how bad it is and I can't stop crying and feel so angry..life is just so cruel..always here if you need to chat Xx

  • Offline
    Sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm about 4 months ahead of you on this nightmare journey. My mum was diagnosed in March with SCLC in lung, spine, adrenal and liver. Given a year to live if responded well to treatments. Had 3 out of 4 rounds of chemo which made her very sick but the cancer responded well. Had 6 week break to build back strength and have been in hosp for 10 days. It's spread and got worse in liver. It's also travelled to the brain which is very common with this. She is 59 and I am a devastated only child and she is my only parent. What I can say to you is there is a really good facebook closed group for SCLC which is very interesting, friendly and most importantly informative. Please ask me if you think I can help at all being a bit further ahead than you in this ***-storm. Best of luck to you all. xx
  • Offline in reply to Debby123
    Hi Debby and to anybody else reading this. My mum is 53 and was diagnosed in February with stage 4 large cell lung cancer,in both lungs but hadn't spread anywhere else. They said she should survive 'a number of months' :-/ She went through Chemo which shrunk the tumours which is great,but she has a rare cancer which they don't know much about other than it responds well to Chemo but grows fast. They have said chemo won't be an option again,we are seeing the consultant next week to get the results from her last CT scan, I am praying that it hasn't spread further. Like you I just keep crying and its heartbreaking to see your Mum go through this. Nobody deserves this. She spends most of her time in bed coughing and I feel helpless. Stay strong everyone x
  • Offline in reply to cassie123
    So sorry Cassie.. My mum's started in February on my hen night..she got taken into hospital as couldn't breathe..they found blood clots on her lungs which I found hard but nothing prepared me for this..since Wednesday I can't sleep,keep crying, feel angry as my mum never smoked.. It's so tough and I'm trying to research as much as I can to make it easier for her..Big hug and here if you ever need to chat xx
  • Offline

    Hi there, I can't believe how many people are going through this as well, unfortunately my mum has been told the same thing and the doctor said she may not see a few years. I am crushed inside but I have to keep going as do you, you have to keep smiling and show her how much you care and just be there. I would recommend going onto the Macmillan website as they have lots of free booklets they can send you which can answer your questions and help guide you. I am so sorry you are going through this but all you can do is be there for her and she will see that and you will know you have done everything possible. I wish you all the best big hugs x 

  • Offline in reply to Debby123
    Oh my god,on your Hen night,how frightening It is so tough and like you I just feel so upset mainly at night time and I can't sleep,I keep thinking of how upset I am now I can't imagine how I'm going to be when the time comes. I've got a 11 month old son who she adores and it just breaks my heart to think she isn't going to see him grow up and he won't remember her :( I would feel so angry like you if my mum never smoked, my mum has smoked most of her life and still she can't give up,it makes me so angry. I guess because I don't smoke I can't understand how it feels to be that addicted to it. I can't believe how many ppl are going through the same or similar situations,It's just horrible. We need to try and make the most of the time we have and try and make it as comfortable for our Mums as possible. Sending love and hugs Xxx
  • Offline in reply to Grace906

    Hello Dory,

     

    I also can't beleive how many of us are going through this. I am so sorry to hear what you and your Mum are going through. Thank you for the advice about Macmillan. Although I have family it does help to speak to others who  are in the same horrible boat. You are right we do have to try and stay strong, Our mums would hate to see how upset we really are. sending love and hugs xxx 

  • Offline in reply to cassie123

    Hi

    I am so sad for all of you. I lost my mum a long time ago but still miss her terribly. Hugs to you all. 

    My husband has just started radiotherapy and chemotherapy for newly diagnosed sclc. The MacMillan booklets are full of useful information and are available at The Chemotherapy clinics, just pop into one and pick up those which will be helpful for you . I came out with loads and have dipped in and out of all of them. I know a lot more than I did a few weeks ago. 

    Love

    Christine 

  • Offline in reply to lottie007

    Hi my mum history is very similar to your story.. how she is now? My mum is bed band from 3 weeks... no others treatment for her..it is extremly sad and hard to understand there is no other hope for her..

     

    Ewa

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.