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Heart broken, my dad my everything.

Brokenheartedxx
Offline

My dad is coming to the end now he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer on friday 26th may 2017 he is now unable to swallow so cant eat or drink take medication. Was placed on the syringe drive friday 30th june 2017 he now just sleeps unable to talk this is absolutely heartbreaking i honestly cant imagine life without him never gonna be able to hug him, hear his voice again. Watching my dad deteriate has been the worst thing ever he touched everyones hearts who met him he was such a fun loving proud man with a heart of gold i really dont wanna be without him but this is not fair on him i hope he is at peace very soon and i hold hope i will see him again one day xx 

  • Online

     

    Hi,

    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my Mum to secondary cancer in 1997 and I still miss her every day.

    I can fully appreciate how you feel as your Dad deteriorates. It is so heart-breaking to watch such a decline. and I can understand how torn you feel between letting him go and trying to hold on to him. This is such a difficult time. I felt the same as you with Mum. If she had been an animal she would have been put down, yet humans are left to suffer. It must be particularly frustrating for you both trying to communicate with each other.

    I do hope that you Dad is soon out of pain and no longer suffering.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Don't forget that there is always someone to talk to here, so keep in touch as and when you can.

    Kind regards

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hello Jolamine,

     

    i totally agree with you a animal goes to sleep with in minutes after having a injection yet we have to watch and hear our loved ones suffer which is so painful and heartbreaking. Dads breathing is slowing now so its a matter before hes body shuts down hes tummy rumbles but hes unable to swallow which is why he was placed on the syringe driver i just hope he is in a nice sleep and not scared we are comforting him and staying by his side but im so scared never experienced death before right infront of my eyes. I just cry and i cant sleep properly as wake up crying just wishing it was all a bad dream! I never even before this realised how awful cancer really was but it is the worst! My mum has not left my dads side caring for him she has been his rock they have always been inseperable she is devastated as like us heartbroken she also lost her dad in jan this year to cancer xxx

  • Online in reply to Brokenheartedxx

     

    Hi Brokenhearted,

    I have lost many family members and close friends to cancer and it has always been harrowing at the end. If you have had no experience of death, I'm not surprised that you are finding it so difficult to cope.

    You are lucky in that you sound like a close family and will be able to support one another along the way. You have had a miserable time this year. Your Mum has already lost her Dad and is now facing the loss of her husband within just a matter of months. She will need you to be strong for her as well as your Dad.

    She will likely find herself completely washed out when the end comes. It is strange but whilst looking after a loved one we somehow or other find the energy to cope, possibly by living on Adrenaline. Once our loved one has pased over we quickly find how much all this has taken out of us and this is when your Mum will really need you. Do you have other family members or is it just you and your Mum?

    Most of us have a fear of dying, so you are doing the right thing by being there for your Dad just now. You have already noticed a change in his breathing. You will gradually notice that other organs begin to shut down too.

    I too hope that he is having a nice peaceful sleep with no more worldly worries and also that his end is not too prolonged. Much and all as we don't want him to depart this mortal coil, I'm sure that you have no desire to see his suffering continue.

    I am thinking and praying for you all.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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