Hello Jolamine,

i totally agree with you a animal goes to sleep with in minutes after having a injection yet we have to watch and hear our loved ones suffer which is so painful and heartbreaking. Dads breathing is slowing now so its a matter before hes body shuts down hes tummy rumbles but hes unable to swallow which is why he was placed on the syringe driver i just hope he is in a nice sleep and not scared we are comforting him and staying by his side but im so scared never experienced death before right infront of my eyes. I just cry and i cant sleep properly as wake up crying just wishing it was all a bad dream! I never even before this realised how awful cancer really was but it is the worst! My mum has not left my dads side caring for him she has been his rock they have always been inseperable she is devastated as like us heartbroken she also lost her dad in jan this year to cancer xxx

Hi Brokenhearted,

I have lost many family members and close friends to cancer and it has always been harrowing at the end. If you have had no experience of death, I'm not surprised that you are finding it so difficult to cope.

You are lucky in that you sound like a close family and will be able to support one another along the way. You have had a miserable time this year. Your Mum has already lost her Dad and is now facing the loss of her husband within just a matter of months. She will need you to be strong for her as well as your Dad.

She will likely find herself completely washed out when the end comes. It is strange but whilst looking after a loved one we somehow or other find the energy to cope, possibly by living on Adrenaline. Once our loved one has pased over we quickly find how much all this has taken out of us and this is when your Mum will really need you. Do you have other family members or is it just you and your Mum?

Most of us have a fear of dying, so you are doing the right thing by being there for your Dad just now. You have already noticed a change in his breathing. You will gradually notice that other organs begin to shut down too.

I too hope that he is having a nice peaceful sleep with no more worldly worries and also that his end is not too prolonged. Much and all as we don't want him to depart this mortal coil, I'm sure that you have no desire to see his suffering continue.

I am thinking and praying for you all.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx