Hi Emzy,

I am so sorry to hear that both of your parents have fallen prey to cancer. River has given you some good advice. Do you have any other family members to support you or help out occasionally?

Both your Mum and Dad will feel pretty tired, especially with treatment. Any help you can give to help with housework, cooking meals, etc will be greatly appreciated.  Making sure that their finger and toe nails are cut regulaly, hair washed and teeth attended to will also make a difference. If either of them is fit enough for an occasional outing it can be more beneficial for both them and yourself to try and make memories, rather than dwell on the misery of a terminal diagnosis.

What ages are your parents? River also mentioned accompanying them to appointments. This can be very helpful, as we only remember a small proportion of what we a told after a consultation. You can also help by asking some questions which either one of them may have forgotten to ask.

My husband and I always start drawing up a list of questions for the consultant in between visits. We take this list with us to our consultations and he writes down the replies to all of my questions.

Cancer doesn't only affect the cancer pilgrim, it affects all family and friends too. I am not at al surprised that you are reeling with having the two diagnoses within 6 months of each other. We tend to suffer a raft of different emotions ranging from anger, desolation, worry, fear, crying at the slightest  opportunity, etc. You will  no doubt be trying to stay strong in front of them, but you also need some time to yourself. There are many organisations to support all three of you whether together or indiidually and most of them are free. If you feel that this might help you, sask your GP, practice nurse, or either of your parents cancer support teams..