Hi Viv,

Thanks for sharing your story, what an awful dilemma to be in.

The number of chemo sessions needed varies depending on the individual patient and the type of cancer. I'm not a doctor or anything, but my own treatment for a different type of cancer was for four x three week cycles of chemo, so six sessions might be appropriate in your husband's case.  

If he believes that life is preordained, he may well believe that six sessions is enough to give him a reasonable chance.   

Not being with him when he meets the oncologist must be difficult. Again my own experience was that the prognosis I was given was deliberately vague and open-ended. Literally from as little as 2 months if the chemo didn't work up to 18 months, possibly two years at the outside if the chemo worked. That was three and a half years ago - which just shows how inaccurate these prognoses can be.

Is there anyone you could ask to intervene with your husband who might be able to help make him realise that, however well-intentioned, his shutting you out is causing you unnecessary grief and worry? Many of us try to protect our loved ones from bad news and don't realise how counter-productive this can be.

Best wishes

Dave

Thank- you Dave for your insightful response. What was especially helpful was the different prognosis's you received, he too has been told several and I thought it was just that he was misunderstanding the doctors.   

May I ask you if you have had additional treatments after your initial 4 x 3 week cycles?

As far as someone who can talk sense into him there is no one.  He hasn't told his only surviving sister, his son, or our pastor... all of whom he would respect.  I am really stuck.

That is pretty amazing,

My husband just received results from a scan.  He has 2 tumors on is reduced by 50% and one by 25%. The 6 spots on his liver are gone.  So all in all a good report.. He is talking to a surgeon in 6 weeks to see if the tumors can be removed.  I am still getting second hand information because he still doesn't want me there but he actually shared the dr's Report with me. I am feeling a lot better about the whole situation.

Viv

Viv,

That sounds very positive :-)
 

Good news that he is sharing the Dr's reports with you now. He is probably trying to shield you from any bad news and probably feels he is doing the right thing by you. Us men are strange creatures sometimes!

Best wishes
Dave