It is always hard being the carer and you are the one he can shout at because he is angry with the cancer and the treatment he is enduring. All you can do is be as supportive as possible. I know it is hard as yesterday my husband had an awful day, feeling sick etc. Today he was fine up until about 6 pm and then the headache started and the feeling sick. As he is wheelchair bound I do a lot for him and he relies on me but I also get angry at his demands, which are not unreasonable but sometimes when I' m in the middle of something frustrating.

You mustn't feel guilty, make sure you have something for you. Coffee with friends, a class or even just a walk around the shops.Tomorrow I am off to yoga. I try to do things in the morning as this is his best time and he happily reads the paper and watches the politics show ( hate it- fed up of all the doom and gloom). 

Take care and best wishes to you both.

i am there with you as i feel the same as you - to date my husband as been well with the first chemo but at times he is sleeping or cant do things we plan and its hard !- i am trying to get to the pool to swim to have some me time - but i feel guilty being away from him - and i need to decide what to do about work as i am currently signed off sick but cant do this for ever i know. it a really diffcult journey we all share and i hope that sharing our thoughts in these groups will help us all feel not so alone- take care x

Thanks for your reply. This site has helped so much. I'm trying to find time for me but it's so hard, I'm always needed somewhere. We were prepared for the roller coaster but some days are tougher than others. I'm still working but managed to drop 1 and 1/2 days on a temporary basis. That has helped reduce the pressure.  You have to do what's right for you. This has shown me what my priorities and to live each day rather than being on a treadmill. I hope you sort out your work issue. Best of luck with your husbands treatment. 

Hi my husband is also halfway through his RT treatment. He had oesophagal cancer 3 years ago and endured months of Chemo and then a massive op (Ivor Lewis procedure) and was traumatised for months but did recover. Eating and drinking were never quite the same but life did get back to some sort of normality. Unfortunately he started feeling ill again and unable to swallow and eventually they discovered the cancer was back in the form of an ulcer on the operation join. It is inoperable we can only hope the RT can kill it or give us a bit longer. I feel mostly helpless and very scared and both feel so angry. I amsigned off work at the moment to care for him but can't do this indefinitely. It all seems such a long road and so lonely sometimes Jan

jan so sorry to hear this - it is lonely at times and i am aware the work thing is really hard- its really hard to know what to do - i have yet to find the answer- happy to discuss further if you want to message me at all - i hope that you have a good nights sleep take care Tracey x

Hope you managed to get sorted out which treatment your husband was going to take. We go to the oncologist next Thursday to see if he carries on with the Votient. He has been on a bit of a roller coaster but we are having some better days now. I think it is difficult when they just give you pills and send you home to get on with it. I phoned the help line they gave me for advice but they just told me to go to the GP. This website has helped, like you say, it is good to talk and write down what you are feeling.

Sometimes when I meet friends I want to talk about something else other than my problems as I don't want to bore them, but they have been very supportive and willing to listen. Anyway off to lunch with ex- colleagues tomorrow so should have a good chat.

Keep positive, my son always tells his dad it will make him feel better, you should see the look he gets!

Just realised I've responded to different people so cut and pasted the previous post onto your thread Tracey as well. Oops!!