Im Struggling with my husband having GBM

Hi, my husband has GBM and was diagnosed about 18 months ago. His tumor has recently progressed. We have started started Avastin. I am struggling with his sadness, he is only 46 and not ready to die, he has not really accepted what the doctors are saying is happing inside his head. It is not fair. Im not ready to be without him.  I keep trying to keep him positive but Im wearing, Avastin might work, but he is sort of person who is logical, we are logical, looks at stats, and outcome not good., I am really struggling with what he is feeling. I took him to a support group this week, first time he agreed to go, it was good for him and he talked to others going through what he is, although he was probably in the worst position in regard to progression. I feel bad for feeling sad for me being without him, for what he is going through, but my whole life is changing, he is my life. We tried so much for children when we were younger but I miscarried several times. Some stupid people say, oh its good you dont have children, really, seriously, it is so much worse. Having no children has really hit my husband hard as he has no legacy and life is coming to an end. If I had children i would live for them. When we didnt have children we planned a life of growing old and enjoying each other together by ourselves. Now Im going to be on my own and I am afraid and I feel bad for thinking of myself with what he is going through. I just want to keep my husband, my cant they fix this now, I know thats supid question, there is no answer. I am just so so so so sad.

  • Hi Vicki, 

    I'm sorry to hear that your husband was diagnosed with GBM and that the tumour has progressed recently. It's great you're trying to keep him positive but I can understand how tough that may be in this situation. Even though he may be in the worst situation it's really good that your husband agreed to go to the suport group as it will really help him to be with others who understand how he is feeling. Is there a support group you could go to as well? As it is helping your husband maybe a support group for wives and partners of those diagnosed with cancer may help you as well.

    Please don't feel bad for feeling sad or thinking about how life will be for you Vicki. It's completely understandable why you would feel this way and think about this at this time. For the moment though do try and take each day as it comes and enjoy the time you have with your husband because if you get too caught up in thinking about the future and how life will be without him you will miss out on the time you have with him now. 

    Many members on the forum will understand the sadness you are feeling having been in this situation with their loved ones and and I'm sure they will post soon to offer their support and advice.

    Feel feel to post any time you need to Vicki and do come back to let us know how your husband gets on with Avastin. We'll be thinking of you and have our fingers crossed it works.

    Wishing you both all the best, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator