My Beautiful Mum is currently in hospital for the fourth time in six weeks , she was diagnosed with bone cancer in Nov 2015 and recently in May with mestates of the meninges which had apparently arose from the breast cancer she had 4 and a half years ago . I feel very angry and very bitter at the sheer unfairness of this cruel disease you see my Mum was diagnosed ten years ago with acute myeloid leukaemia and fought like a Trojan , received a successful bone marrow transplant from her brother and got better after approx two years in and out of hospital , many times in isolation after numerous infections but her will to live remained strong . Sadly she then got bowel cancer , another fight , then breast cancer another fight she was determined to win . When last Nov the bone cancer was diagnosed she was told it was uncurable ,all the fight she showed with the last cancers went with the word uncurable . She received chemo to slow down the progression which again made her wiped out , suddenly she complained of fuzziness in her head and a feeling of being spaced out , she would get confused have limited movement etc , over the last couple of months I've seen my beautiful courageous Mum become more depressed and forlorn and all hope she had diminished . When the meninges was diagnosed she decided to take the radiotherapy offered as she couldn't continue the chemo until some of the symptoms of the meninges were taken care of . So now six weeks after the radiotherapy Mum is too poorly to restart the chemo for the bone cancer . As a family we are in a nightmare we can't seem to wake up from.
On Thursday Mum had an episode , she couldn't focus she started muttering , no sense of her surroundings and sadly couldn't remember who my Dad was or any of her three children , absolutely heartbreaking .
So now where are we up to well thankfully Mum can't remember much of Thursday only the sound of the sirens on the ambulance that brought her to hospital . She is still coherent some of the time , she is very poorly they tell us but she remembers who we are now thankfully . The doctors tell us she as pnemonia and she is being treated with antibiotics . W sit by her bed watching her sleep , my Dad rarely leaves her side , they have been married nearly 55 years , and as their daughter I feel helpless. Not only is Mum a constant worry but I worry over my Dad and he's well being also . I am extremely lucky that I have such a fabulous family and a very supportive husband but I feel very alone . I feel that I want to be at Mums side continuously but emotionally I'm drained , I feel I've been grieving for Mum since last Nov . My emotions turn in seconds from anger to bitterness , to sorrow to sheer desperation .
