Father has cancer and being reckless with money

Hello all

I'm hoping for some advice. My Dad is a long term cancer sufferer - bladder and kidney, one kidney removal around 8 years ago but now it's back and he needs the other kidney removed, along with radiation therapy. Currently waiting for hospital to complete tests.

Over the past few years he seems to have lost all responsibility with money. Instead of paying his rent he will spend hundreds of pounds on EBay, buying stamps/coins etc. I have had to step in several times to pay his arrears. Each time it happens he promises he won't do it again but then around 6 months later it happens again.

I'm getting to the end of my tether - helping him with his health is one thing (he's quite deaf so my brother or I go to hospital appointments, chase up treatment etc), but this constant worry about his finances is grossly unfair.

My question is, is this a common issue amongst cancer sufferers? Does the long term effects of the disease and associated treatment (he is on dialysis) often cause this reaction?

i imagine some of it is boredom and depression but I don't know how to change his behaviour. I have now blocked access to eBay on his computer but he is pleading with me to take off the block, promising to be responsible. I'm also deeply concerned he will be evicted.

Any advice most welcome.

  • Hi

    wow no wonder you worried! Guess it's a form of retail therapy - supposed to make us feel better!! I've not got any real advice except have you thought about getting him councilling? We all deal with our conditions differently so can't comment if this is a common issue - certainly not mine, although I have treated myself to a few nice things and a holiday but that's because I had the money.  I hope you find a resolution and can understand why you worried, eating shopping etc in excess or without responsibility are usually because one is trying to fill a void or make oneself feel better.

    hang in there  and don't give up on him

    best wishes

    JB

  • hello my mum got diagnoisd with terminal cancer 5th feb 2016 since then she has not stopped spending im a only child and trying to care for my mum on my own but like ur dad mum is making sure she spends every penny she has nothing left and its not even like she needs anything she has now got huge bills that i have to try sort out only i dont have a penny to try help im trying my best but my mum seems to be making all this so much harder and dosent care x