My dad has terminal cancer. They said to us 6-12 months. Came as a bit of a shock. Not that he had cancer, more that his life expectancy means he won't be around soon. I haven't told my friends because my school is the only place where I pretend nothing is happening. A few teachers know and bless em they mean well but I get so fed up when they ask me how I'm doing that I just say 'I'm fine don't worry'. It gets lonely thinking about things on your own and not having to share my thoughts. My social skills need some work and hence I don't particularly fancy chatting to people including to members of my own family. But its gotten a bit much so I thought I should start with something such as this before making a step up to a friend or teacher. I'm very confused, I don't really feel anthing except despair. I don't cry though I want to, I have to practice a fake laugh for when a friend makes a joke. I don't want my dad to go not only because I love him but I've never said it to him, but also because I could never be the man he was. I could never step into his shoes and watch over the family like I should. I'm the youngest of 5 but I feel the oldest and as if I should be watching over my sisters and mum.
If you're reading this you don't have to reply or anything if you don't want to. I just felt like typing my thoughts down to help me.
Thanks.
