Hi there and welcome, I'm so sorry to hear your dad is unwell. Well done on making the first step about talking about how you feel. There are lots of people young and old that are experiencing similar problems on here who will know what you're going through. Tell your dad you love him! It will make his day to hear you tell him! I guess you feel the pressure being the only male. Nobody will expect you to step up, don't pressure yourself. Your sisters must be feeling the same, are you able to speak with one of them? Knowing the time will come sooner rather than later that your dad won't be here is tough and I really struggled with that but right now he is here so spend as much time with him as you can and tell him what a great dad he has been. Take care of yourself.

Hi Kobir97

It sounds like you have been putting a brave face on everything but I agree, talking here before sharing your feelings with a parent or teacher is a good plan.

I agree too with Michelle1978 that is positive that you have taken the important first step in talking about how you feel.

As well as coming here to share your feelings, there is another website here called riprap, where you can chat to others the same age as you with a parent affected by cancer.

You might find it helpful to talk to others on riprap too.

Please come and chat whenever you feel it will help.

Best wishes

Jane

Hi Kobir,

Have a look at this site : http://www.riprap.org.uk/

the specialise in helping people whose parents have cancer and they do councilling over e-mail so social skills can be quite "on line"

First thing is that when they say 6-12 months that can be quite inaccurate depending on circumstances - you'll find people on here who'd had people with that diagnosis that disn't make 6 weeks and some that are still here 2 or 3 years later - it's a best guess not a timetable!

The idea of "being a man" is pretty immune to personal tragedy - I'm 50 have raised a familly, have a responsible job,, hold 2 back belts in martial arts and went to pieces for days and cried like a baby when my wife died last year.

Your mother and sisters aren't going to need you to watch over them - they're going to need you to support them and you're going to need them to support you. That's going to mean talking to them 

When I was your age I never thought I'd step into my father's shoes he was so capable so in control he ran a company and was also quite bigotted and racist.

I became a man in other ways - I took the good and left the bad (I hope) and I developed academically in ways that far outstripped him and I know he was proud of that - you shouldn't try and become  your father but perhaps use him as a role model - taking the good and fitting that in with who you are.

Similarly when my wife died my son was 22 it was two weeks after and he stood up at the funeral in front of 100 people and delivered the most wonderful speech about his mother, not a dry eye in the place.and I could tell the whole place just wanted to applaud - I could never have done that at his age and I have never been so proud of him.

I'm sure you will find ways to surpass your own father.

You may not be ready to talk to your mother and sisters about this yet - they may not be ready to talk to you about it but chances are there will come a time soon when you will need to - grief is awful - it's doubly awful alone.

Good luck

Graham