Hi, I think all you can do is your best so that when your mum is no longer here you have no regrets.  We cant get on with everyone in life, even if they are family, but if you have tried your hardest then there isnt much you can do. I am sure she is probably afraid and it may be making her hide her feelings.

I know this must be so difficult for you and I do wish you all the very best.

You sound like a lovely daughter who is doing everything she can to build a relationship with her mother.  From what I can see, you have nothing to reproach yourself for.  I'm wondering if your mum is putting on a front that she doesn't need anyone as she doesn't want to look like she is not in control.  Do you think she may withhold affection from you in order to make you work harder to win her approval etc? It is sad that she does not let you in to enjoy a normal mother/daughter relationship but you can only do so much and it isn't your fault that you haven't got that relationship.  I know that many people don't so you are not alone.