Mum

Hi, my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in September after admission to hospital with pneumonia. We were told at the time that she probably didn't have long and she most likely wouldn't be well enough for any treatment. At the time we thought she was coming home to die and we prepared for that as best you can, if you can. Now we are over 4 months down the line we got through christmas and mum and all of us had such a lovely time, really precious time with family. 

Mum obvously isn't great but she is managing and potters and comes out with us when she can she needs alot of support. She is amazing. Tomorrow is her last of 4 cycles of chemo and she is so so very tired. I am so frightened for her, that this teatment will make her anymore tired if thats possible. She has 2 units of blood last Monday and it hasn't really made a difference. She stays so positive but she just looks exhausted she is 78 and is as stubborn as a mule! Which is a good thing! But I'm here with her on my own tonight, I have 3 sisters only one of whom really is a support and she is fantastic. But I am struggling and feel so low and overwhelmed. I am a nurse myself so I know too much but not enough! If that makes sense. I'm just so frightened I can't cope, how do I stay positive and be the support my mum needs.

  • Thanls Pauline thats all I want a bit of recovery time after chemo for mum. Its just not fair, I just want her to have some well time. We are staying positive. Ups and downs. Enjoying the good days

  • Glad to hear from you again - yeah it's not the number of days it's what you get to put in them eh?

  • Yes you are so right. I had to make her come out today she is so low, but to get out in the sun even if it was just to do a bit of shopping and go for a coffee, but it did lift her mood dramatically.

     We made pancakes tonight and I met a friend for a much needed glass of wine! So yes it is not about quantatity  definatly about quality. We are off to see Dads army at the cinema tomorrow, even if she does fall asleep when the lights go off so what, she will have managed to get out justfor a bit.x

  • I think a lot of us can fall asleep when the lights go out in the cinema - chemo or not!

  • Hi Graham, well mum loved the film.....yes she slept through most of it!

    She does pay for going out the day after with high temps and feeling really grotty. But we will continue to take each day as it comes. 

    Today was a day when she refused to get out of bed and was rude to her carers, but hey if I wanted a lie in so would I!

    But when her temp is through the roof its not great to just leave her in bed. Days like this are so so tough when she says she wants to go to dad and can't do this anymore. But then after some paracetamol and a few hours she felt better and happier. It is so so tough tho and I feel like this has been our life for so long now. I'm tired and sometimes sadly look forward to going back to work for a break :-( 

    Tomorrow will be better I know that. Taking each day and enjoying the good ones.

     

  • Hi Tan sorry about your mum's situation she seems very strong espicially at 78 and having to go through bouts of chemo strength shines through in situations like this. I'm 4 years younger than your mum and reading that tired me out. You don't need to be by your mum's side all the time and she is not at the stage where she needs you 24/7 so you can still have time to your self and take a breather. In order to cope with something like this you need to space your self from everyone even for a little while take a breather just do what you want to get your mind of it. Also yoou need to switch your nurse brain off because that's just stressing you out. Forget about what you know about other peoples situations because everyone is different. The way to stay positive is just say to your self "Well today will be good if i like it or not" take each day as it comes don't think about 2 weeks or 2 months down the line just think about today -Diane x