Mum

Hi, my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in September after admission to hospital with pneumonia. We were told at the time that she probably didn't have long and she most likely wouldn't be well enough for any treatment. At the time we thought she was coming home to die and we prepared for that as best you can, if you can. Now we are over 4 months down the line we got through christmas and mum and all of us had such a lovely time, really precious time with family. 

Mum obvously isn't great but she is managing and potters and comes out with us when she can she needs alot of support. She is amazing. Tomorrow is her last of 4 cycles of chemo and she is so so very tired. I am so frightened for her, that this teatment will make her anymore tired if thats possible. She has 2 units of blood last Monday and it hasn't really made a difference. She stays so positive but she just looks exhausted she is 78 and is as stubborn as a mule! Which is a good thing! But I'm here with her on my own tonight, I have 3 sisters only one of whom really is a support and she is fantastic. But I am struggling and feel so low and overwhelmed. I am a nurse myself so I know too much but not enough! If that makes sense. I'm just so frightened I can't cope, how do I stay positive and be the support my mum needs.

  • Hi Tan,

    Sounds like your mother is a fighter eh?

    I guess the "Not long" assessment was because they didn't think she could take the chemo - it's obviously working but it is knocking it out of her!

    With a bit of luck she'll have a bit of a breather with the end of this series of treatment and will get some strength back.

    I think staying positive really depends on what you want to be positive about - that is setting your goals and expectations. - celebrate the small victories. You've had a Christmas you weren't expecting at one point  - that's huge! and she's still managing to get out.

    In practical terms as a nurse I'm sure you've organised an occupational therapy visit and are in touch with people like McMillan and stuff like that.

    Emotionally - well you'll always be welcome here when you need a shoulder.

    By the way that's not your mum on the end of the parachute on your avatar picture is it? If so no wonder she's tired! ;c)

     

  • Thanks Graham, NO thats not mum on the parachute! :) That made me smile.

    Mum had chemo yesterday and she is doing so well, I know your right we have to celebrate the small victories, and not look to far ahead. It just seems so overwhelming at times. We bumped into the acute oncology nurse in chemo and she was shocked to see mum but so so pleased, she hadn't seen mum since September so a big change looking a lot better than when she was discharged from hospital, another victory to celebrate. Thx I really need to keep grounded and not get lost in whats to come and waste what good days we have now. Staying positive is the key and laughing together which we do often!

     

  • Well two days after chemo and mums back in hospital :-( high temp. Fingers crossed we have caught it in time.

  • How's she doing? Is she responding to antibiotics?

     

  • Hi Graham, very up and down. Temps at same time each morning. I think it is coming from the Liver Mets, her oncologist said this might have been the case in the past. She had chemo last Monday so its coming into the worrying time for white cells dropping. So better she is in hospital. She is ok and in good spirits.       Thank you for asking :)

     

  • Your mum sounds abit like my dad :-) I felt too felt it very hard to stay positive, I just wanted to cry my eyes out everytime I saw him.  But I knew he wouldn't want that, me and my mum got through it by laughing with him, sounds strange but that was our way.  Its weird, my body sort of took over, its like your on auto pilot, we didn't have any carers, my dad died at home xx

  • Hi, Tan, your mum sounds like a real fighter.  I am nearly 72 so sort of the same generation as her - as you get older you think differently about illness and it isn't nearly as frightening as it is when you are younger. Remember, when having chemo, you are a lot more vulnerable to infections etc but once its over and your immune system kicks back in everything looks a bit better.

    Be happy with your mum, she sounds like a lovely lady.

  • Glad to hear it doesnt sound like an infection hope she's still feeling positive

  • Hi thanks for your kind words. I very much undestand the autopilot! It can be so hard at times just a real roller coater mumis accepting help sometimes and gets so angry other days that her independance is being taken away. Its a fine line between independance and safty :-(

  • Very up and down Graham, we have had a few confused days and another spike in temp, so up and down. But we will take each day as it comes and enjoy the good days. Lets hope there are lots more