Not quite sure if I want answers or just someone to listen!!

My husband has cancer... To cut a VERY long & complicatyed story short, he has a brain tumour on his coccyx. At this present moment he is 250 miles away awaiting a MRI under general anastetic tomorrow morning, whilst I'm sat at home worrying yjyself silly with our 4 year old son.

In the near future (start of December) he is hopefully going to have an operation, in London -250 miles from our home. It involves him having a majoupr part of his intestines/bowels (?!?!) Removed - ending up with a bag of some description, the tumour.(the size of grapefruit/small melon) and then a skin graft over the area. 

Because of my son, I cannot be there, which leaves me full of guilt. His father is with him but I feel on the outside, I am unable to attended appointments - so iget all info second had. And there are risks with the surgery... It cold damage his sciatic nerve, and leave him unable to walk, he will definatly have a bag of some description and affect his sexual function.

I'll admit, I'm struggling, some days I don't know hjow to cope. I have a 4 year old to look after whose obviously excited about xmas. Hubby will probably miss his first Xmas concert and will probably be in over Christmas.

To top it all off he has another tumour in his chest which is in a precarious position and cannot be removed.... This will probably eventually kill him :(

Sorry to be so negative.... Sometimes I need to let it out x