Hi

Welcome to the forum though sorry to read the reason you find yourself here.  We (hubby and I) lived with a terminal diagnosis for around three years and its not easy for either of you now.  My hubby was 60 (me 57) when the cancer was fully diagnosed and incurable. Whilst my husband did not criticize me he did turn away pretty much straight away as far as close contact was concerned (he just could not cope with it emotionally and felt it was his job to 'prepare me').  Nothing I said helped and the frustration was at time over powering - I felt so sad for him but could not make it better.  Our consultant and the GP agreed between them that a small anti depressant might help and he was willing to give it a go(in fact he would go along with any of their suggestions but not mine but I loved him and accepted that  he loved me but the cancer took away his 'personality'). I am pretty sure your husband knows as well as you do that you are coping the best way you know how but just sometimes we take out fears on those closest to us (both with a cancer diagnosis and day to day life).  His temprament (if totally different to how he behaved pre-diagnosis) could also be due to any medication or the type of cancer he has.

Come and chat any time as I certainly appreciated being able to write down my thoughts and felt less alone because of it.  Also talk to your own GP and find out what other help might be available for you both. Jules54

Hi

Welcome to the forum though sorry to read the reason you find yourself here.  We (hubby and I) lived with a terminal diagnosis for around three years and its not easy for either of you now.  My hubby was 60 (me 57) when the cancer was fully diagnosed and incurable. Whilst my husband did not criticize me he did turn away pretty much straight away as far as close contact was concerned (he just could not cope with it emotionally and felt it was his job to 'prepare me').  Nothing I said helped and the frustration was at time over powering - I felt so sad for him but could not make it better.  Our consultant and the GP agreed between them that a small anti depressant might help and he was willing to give it a go(in fact he would go along with any of their suggestions but not mine but I loved him and accepted that  he loved me but the cancer took away his 'personality'). I am pretty sure your husband knows as well as you do that you are coping the best way you know how but just sometimes we take out fears on those closest to us (both with a cancer diagnosis and day to day life).  His temprament (if totally different to how he behaved pre-diagnosis) could also be due to any medication or the type of cancer he has.

Come and chat any time as I certainly appreciated being able to write down my thoughts and felt less alone because of it.  Also talk to your own GP and find out what other help might be available for you both. Jules54