Merry Christmas to you Mandy. Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow and u all can enjoy the special day.  Jules a merry Christmas to you too hope you get through the day without too many tears etc. Thank you both for helping me along my path too. Much love to both of you X X

Hi Mandy and Deano

Christmas wishes returned with virtual hugs.  Thought of you both as I prepared the vol u vent cases earlier!Spending this evening alone with my reflections before joining the family tomorrow. Thank you both for your virtual companionship during our up and down moments.  Look after yourselves.  Jules x

Lol I actually meant to type buddies not bubbles haha,  and I ain't touched a drop lol xx

Quite like the idea of 'bubbles' buddies. Just waiting for the washing to finish (more bubbles!!) and the film to end before hitting the sack (and yes, am sober too). xxx

Sleep well Jules xx

Hi Mandy and Jules. I hope Christmas went as well as it could go for you both. Bet your new cooker turned out some amazing food for Christmas dinner  Mandy. Hope Chris got through the day ok too.  Bet you have been busy entertaining the family Jules. I have had a good one was a lot better than I thought I would be. Think the run up was worse as I expected my emotions to be worse than they actually turned out to be. I did have a few moments Christmas Day but grandkids kept me well busy. I'm ready to go back to work for a rest he he. Hope you both have a good new year.  Hope things improve for Chris and he can have some quality time with you and your son.  . Stay strong X X

Hi Deano  and Mandy

Got through Christmas pretty well and the grandkids definitely kept me smiling!  As you have said it seems the thought of Christmas was actually more difficult than the festivities. Next weekend will be the anniversary of hubby's death so expecting the emotion naturally.  Am planning a quiet relaxed New Year (am already back at work) and have plans to put into effect regarding decorating in the coming year so expect my mind to be 'busy' sourcing a workforce ha  ha.

Mandy, I hope you, Chris and the children were able to enjoy the Christmas period and that the new cooker worked well for you. My thoughts are with you all as we enter 2016.

  Thank you both for your virtual friendship. Best regards  Jules xx

Hi Deano and Jules,

Glad to hear you both had a good Christmas, and enjoyed spending time with your families.  Our Christmas was good, but hard work for me.  Oven worked well thank you, turned out a good meal, was just exhausted by the time I'd cooked it haha.  

Sadly though Chris is back in hospital, he went in on Monday as he is carrying so much fluid due to the steroids. The water tablets weren't working so gone in for IV. But the fluid isn't shifting, he weighs the same and is as puffy as ever.  So I am here at home for new year, with Will in bed, or will be, so I think I'll just go to bed too, as I'm not really looking forward to 2016.  I normally work New Year night so at least I'm not working. Just feeling fed up and a little bit lonely, as I'm sure many people are tonight.  And my heart goes out to them, and to my two forum buddies who have helped me so much.  It just feels like a horrible dark tunnel that never seems to end.  I have cried so much lately, it's all I ever do so I need to make a resolution not to cry quite so much.  I have to be strong for my wonderful son, I just get overwhelmed sometimes.  Maybe going to back to work very soon, and the thought terrifies me.

Anyway, I hope you both have a a good New Year, and a good 2016. Takes lots of care, love Mandy xx

Hi Mandy

It must be so difficult for you at this time of year (any time actually) especially with Chris having to go back into hospital.  I have some idea as to how emotionally draining you will be feeling whilst also having to try and be strong for your young son Will. 

I am glad you all managed a family Christmas as shattering as that now feels.  At the time it was I am sure worth the effort and am glad the cooker behaved itself.  I did think of you and Deano as I prepared (and ate) those vol u vents on my Boxing Day with the family.

I have chosen to spend New Year by myself in reflective mood.  Was at work today and a bit teary but managed to get through it (have supportive workmates).  This weekend is the anniversary of hubby's passing and it feels somewhat strange to realise that a whole year has passed and I am still coping and drawing strength from all my forum buddies. 

I am doing much as we always did at this time of year, cuppa in hand and awaiting the midnight chimes in front of the rather boring tv shows. Will watch the countdown and the fireworks and then head to bed.  I am not one for early nights (so it is not especially late for me to be up any way).

Look after yourself and sending peace and hugs for New Year and 2016. Jules xx