I need some support please. I am so stressed about everything that I have been hitting my arm. First was slaps, now I hit it, because I am so frustrated and angry that it has to come out. I need help please
So glad today went well and a good time was had by all. Do love party food. Roast beef or rather slow cooker beef was delicious, and Yorkshire puds good though not as good as mine haha, but they were light and fluffy which sadly mine aren't always.
Felt better today til this evening when my husband had difficulties in the bath and then came downstairs on his bottom as felt safer. Breaks my heart. The steroids have caused him to gain so much weight and as a result he struggles.
Hope the pictures turn out well and you have a good week, take care, Mandy xx
Never easy watching those with love meet daily struggles that we all used to take for granted. My hubby had a couple of times on steroids to try and improve appetite in the last few months but rarely managed more than a few mouthfuls and in the end lived on prescribed shakes. A 14 stone healthy man reduced to under 9st. As you say it is heartbreaking. We had a seat in the bathroom as was not strong enough to cope alone and I helped him in and out. Used to worry me when he used the stairs too but he managed until his last week when we had hospital bed in the lounge. He did finally give in to using a stick but hated it! (this suggestion was made by me a few months earlier but would not entertain it but thankfully a close friend he used to go to the local pub with explained he was frightened for him falling and actually bought along a walking stick and hubby did not want to upset him by refusing -man to man stuff I suppose).
Bet you enjoyed that meal and you are doing great in adapting your skills to cope without a main cooker. Hope the new one arrrives soon. I just find it easier to do buffet food when the family come round as can pre-prepare and just serve it up ha ha (they are here next Sunday for pre Christmas get together and will help me get the tree sorted) though do cook a roast from time to time too.
Off to work shortly and am meeting friends afterwards (ex and current workmates) for a quick lunch before nipping home, changing and then babysitting for a couple of hours. Son in law has dentist appointment after work and my daughter has work as a Body Shop at Home consultant so a 'party' to run so will 'bridge the gap'. Helps to keep busy.
Take care and remember you are doing the best you can. Hugs. Jules x
Hi Mandy I had a good day yesterday thanks. I put a nice buffet on for them in the end and my daughter made cheesecakes. The grandkids kept me busy and amused as normal. When they all left it hit me and I shed a few tears etc but I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be. Off solicitors this morning before work to have some form witnessed to do with my wife's work. Not looking forward to it but it's something that has to be done. I'm sick to death of filling forms in etc. Hope you have had a decent weekend and the slow cooked beef turned out nice I love meat done in the slow cooker my stews and casseroles are always done in one and always have to fill the pot up and take some round for the kids and grandkids as apparently they are amazing kids words not mine ha ha take care Mandy and hope your stress levels are calming a little X
Hi jules. Reading your post about your husbands determination reminds me of my wife's. She worked all the way through her illness except the last 7 week she was on the sick. That time was took up by annual leave days so her sick record only showed 2 bouts of sickness in the past year. Better than a lot of able bodied people. She always got up the stairs to go to bed also. I had to bear enough carry push and pull her up. She used to say the day she couldn't get upstairs is the day she gave up still brings emotion thinking of her saying it u sounded like you had a good weekend with family which I'm happy you did. I enjoyed mine too. Bridlington on Saturday with a couple of grabdkids daughter and son in law. It was cold so we ended up in the amusement arcade then fish and chips in a sea food cafe. Sunday as you know was anniversary. I got through that fine with just the odd tear mainly when everyone had left but was better than I thought I would be. Anyway that's enough of me going on. Take care and keep your chin up
The fish and chips sound lovely and a very good way to keep the chilly weather at bay. It's sometimes surprises me at how I can cope with some things and then others will take me by surprise - emtional rollercoaster just about sums it up.
Am endeavouring to make new memories (mingled with the old ones) for the coming festive season but being with family will be the norm and would not want to change that. Mind you am hoping to get some quiet time to reflect and draw some strength from within.
Having a really bad time at the moment. Really struggling to keep my head above water. The cooker we were told wouldn't come until after January 4th. I phoned up as hadn't heard anything. So cancelled that order and got one coming ..... Hopefully ....... on Monday from ao.com. Was so upset. Sorted I know.....I hope.
Got a formal meeting at work today re my sickness. Worried beyond words, keep crying and crying. Wondering how I will juggle work and home but I have to if I'm to keep the house, and my job. You are supposed to have an informal meeting first but that never happened...... People keep telling me to phone my Union which I will this morning but I am struggling to stay strong. If I think clear I'm okay but I struggle to think clear. It's all too much at the moment. Coping with my husband, my son and my job. Not to mention the bloody cooker and how will I cook Christmas dinner. Xx
Hi Mandy. So sorry you are struggling at the moment. With caring for a close loved one life is so hard and stressful. I agree with getting in touch with the union about work. At least they will offer advice. I had many sleepless nights worrying about work and what if i had to have a lot of time off etc along with worrying how the kids were handling things especially when she was having bad days. I used to try and prioritise wife kids first work house and last on the list me. Surely you working in the nursing sector they will u der stand the time you have to take off as a carer. I do believe also that we as carers have a lot of rights one includes reasonable time off. The union should be able to put you right on what rights you have. As for your cooker it seems whenever people are under stress these shops seem to know and mess orders up etc just to add to it. Hope it arrives on time this time. Try not to worry about cooker it's a small hiccup and nothing compared to the other stuff happening. As for Christmas dinner I'll cook and send you a turkey if the cooker is not sorted by then which I'm sure it will be. ( tasting my cooking would then be your biggest worry he he ). Try to stay strong Mandy and take care of yourself as well as your son and husband. X
Do speak to your union rep as soon as you can and ask for help and guidance. Hope the meeting today was ok but come and rant as and when you want to. Wish we could offer more than virtual hugs and a listening ear.
As you are caring for your husband have you looked into getting Carer's or Attendance allowance which would help a little. I booked an appointment for free advice from Citizens Advice and they were able to advise me of various contacts to help and I know MacMillan can look into the financial elements too. You really do have enough to be going on with without having to stress about work issues.
Awful that you have had such a bother regarding the cooker and everyday 'nightmares' just seem to get on top of us at such times. My son had very good service from ao.com when needing to replace a fridge as a matter of some urgency so hope delivery comes on time and your Christmas meal will be saved.
It's easy to say I know but taking it step by step, day to day and using us to yell at may help a little I hope.
Take care and always remember you are doing the best you can and none of us are super human; Sadly cancer affects the whole family and not just the sufferer.
Meeting went okay, did talk to my Union and they will come to the next one on Jan 5th. The letter was more scary than the actual meeting and I aim to go back to work shortly after the 5th. I don't want to leave my son being the carer so to speak of his father over the school hols, I need to be here so I'll go back after. I'll change my hours to be home every evening meal time to make it, and I'll be getting on site parking instead of park and ride which is in the opposite direction to my house. I got so worked up before hand, a complete mess. But feel better now.
Macmillan came and were really good. They are putting us on a "course" about all sorts of stuff, can't remember what but seemed good. And I've emailed a service for kids, both of these based at the local hospice. So she gave us really good info and will come back in couple of weeks. Glad I didn't send her away this time ..... I do struggle with his arseyness at times, he gets so short tempered and takes it out on me and my son. I know it's not him, but it is hard. Well cooker comes on Monday but until it is plugged in and working I won't celebrate haha.
Hope you're having a good weekend, take care, Mandy xx
