Hi

There really is no need to be sorry to sharing your heartfelt feelings with the forum.  We nearly all need to have somewhere to do this and somehow it's better said though we know we cannot make things different. I lost my Dad to cancer 8 years ago and that was hard and 7 months ago lost my husband after he had a three year battle with incurable cancer.  A cancer diagnosis affects all the family and seeing those we love (friends or family) is the hardest journey most of us ever take. Wishing you and your Dad a peaceful day.Jules

Hi Justme2,

I just wanted to drop you a message to say im going through the exact same thing so you're not alone. me and my brother are in our late 20s and about to lose our wonderful father. he was only diagnosed with lung cancer last month and his a week or two left to live - so it's been a lot to get our heads around. we've dealt with him being in hopsital, hospice and now back at home where he requires constant care (every 5 mins he will need moved position, the fan on, the fan off, something to drink etc) so it it exhausting.

like your dad, he has good days and bad days but we are trying to make the most of every day. my dad has been so brave throughout all of this and not got upset in front of us once - i am trying to reflect his behaviour as i think this will make him more comfortable rather then break down in front of him and distress him (although i've done this a couple of times and its completely natural to do so). he has lost the ability to talk apart from a very hoarse whisper and has lost interest in food and hasn't been able to walk for a month now so it is hard to watch but i'm just glad he is still here. as sad as it is, it is comforting to know at the moment i can see him whenever i want.

i don't know how old you are but try and remember that you had your dad for X number of years and how great they were. some people have their dads for longer than us and some shorter so think about the fact that it could have been worse (Although it could have been better!). Also it has helped me to digest everything by thinking that my dad was a smoker and this is why he has lung cancer - so it was HIS lifestyle choice at the end of the day and i know how much he loved smoking! it would be far more cruel if it was a random type of cancer that just attacked our dads but at least with lung cancer it was almost their choice in some weird way.

@LDN1234 how's things going? My dad passed on the 27th August :-(

Thanks Jules, hope your ok, sorry its taken so long to reply, we cared for my dad right to the end, he passed and gained his wings on the 27th August x

I also lost my dad on the 27th August

He was diagnosed on 15th July. The disease took him after a very short 6weeks and 1 day 

He had Oesophageal tumour and had spread to his liver.

We looked after him at home. In his own bed. His family around him. This is where he wanted to be.

It was pain free and peaceful and I do take great comfort from this..

I am happy to offer anyone support and help at this DEVASTATING time XXX

When death is inevitable it is possible to make it a memorable and happy time. 

Sad to read your latest post and send condolences to you and the family. May the memories you hold in your hearts help you through the coming weeks and onwards.Jules x

6 weeks isn't very long at all :-( so sorry, that's the same as my dad, he didn't want any beds or carers, my dad's had Lung cancer, which spread the lymth nodes, adrental glane, liver and brain, he went through hell, and he was so so brave.

How are you, I think I'm still in shock we went to his grave and I just can't put the grave and my dad together :-(