Brian,

So sorry to hear about your news. The only good thing is that your wife went in with her symptoms as soon as she recognised them. Scant comfort I know. The word incurable is the last thing you want to hear under any circumstances.

I'm in a similar position to Janet with an incurable cancer for which I have had palliative chemotherapy which has extended my life expectancy, but by how much no-one can tell. By coincidence I also have had ulcerative colitis for about twenty years.

All I can suggest is that the two of you sit down together beforehand and plan what questions you want to ask the consultant, then write them down and write down his responses. You may find that Janet actually wants you to ask questions about survival rates on her behalf. On the other hand, she may be unwilling to hear in case it dashes her hopes. There's no right or wrong way to address this - just what works for the two of you.

One thing that it would be useful for you to know is the TNM stage, the consultant will be able to tell you this when you next meet. This will help you with any online research you want to do into survival rates - though bear in mind that survival rates are only averages and mustn't be applied to individual cases. You've probably read this already, but there is some useful information at www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../lung-cancer-staging

Good luck to you both
Dave

Hi Brian-S

Welcome to the forum though of course sad to see the reason  behind your visit. You are right that it is difficult to ask questions in front of your dear wife (with me it was my husband  who had incurable cancer of the lung linings due to Mesothelioma).  It is emotionally draining for you both I am sure.  When my husband was having 'palliative chemo' they certainly looked at medical history as a whole and I would imagine they will choose chemo (there are very many combinations of different types available) to suit your wife's situation. When you have the next appointment to talk through this it may be helpful for both your wife and yourself to write down any queries/concerns you have (it made it easier for us both to talk through things later as the memory is often overwhelmed during the visit.  If your wife is happy for you to be given information regarding her illness then you will be able to talk with them separatly if  you wish(we were given a 24hr support telephone number to use whenever we needed it but I expect this would depent on where you are located.

As to the ever-awkward question as to 'how long' someone has, it is always just a guide and even doctors cannot be totally sure as so many factors have to be taken into account. My husband did notmind knowing at the outset (though his feelings changed later) and we were told anywhere from 3 mths to 10 yrs+ (Mesothelioma can be extremely aggressive or slow growing hence the very wide timescales). In the event he lived nearly three years from diagnosis.

Should you have other questions there is a telephone number on this page which  you can call (freephone from UK landlines and most mobiles) to speak to the nurses on this site - mon to fri 9-5 which may help give you more information.

I hope it helps a little to be able to 'chat' on the forum and I am sure others will be along soon to offer their thoughts/support.  Do come and talk anytime if you would like to. Best regards Jules54

Oh Brian,
So sorry to see the reason you have joined this forum.
I don't think anyone predict the future, every case is different, but what great news the chemo has been offered as part of the treatment plan.
As I am not medically trained cannot comment on Jans medical issues but a suggestion is you call the wonderful nurses on this site for clarification.
If you can ask in front of the consultant for Jans permission to have full access to her treatment plan and is approved by Jan maybe you could have a one on one discussion with the consultant when she is not present.
One day at a time.....just enjoy every day as it comes.  Do the bucket list now.
My best wishes
Kathy
 

Thanks to all who have responded to my post.

It actually helps to know that others have gone through the same and I know with help from our family and friends we will get through it. I think it will help ongoing, to post on here and get the support of others who have taken the same trip.

It just seemed like thing were getting better for jan and then this. 

So sad.

Dear Brain,

No words can console you for what you have to face . I totally understand I to have terminal lung cancer, I've faced many hurdles and continue to do so . I've had one cycle of palliative chemo which if I'm honest didn't really work . I'm now trying one last different chemo to see if we can get it under control . I'm optimist by nature but it's tough dealing with a roller coaster of emotions . .i guess you have to decide together how you want to handle any treatment . All I can say is take one day at a time and do what's best for both of you .. I'm having to post by phone and there will numerous mistakes !! The screen is far too small !! If I can answer any questions ask away best wishes to you both , Christelle x

Things have moved on a little now.

We are to see the Oncologist specialist on thursday to be given the details of the Chemotherapy she will be having.   Last week we were told that the Cancer is not sufficiently advanced to be causing symptons yet.

Now concerned because she as started to cough quite frequently and I know this is one of the symptoms of the enlarged Lynth Nodes in her chest. Is it usual for lung cancer to progress that fast or is it likely to be the stress causing her to cough.

I know we will get some more answers on Thursday it's just hard keeping up the positivity whilst waiting.

Hi Brian

Hopefully the Thursday appointment with the oncologist will give you more information as to your wife's treatment plan.  It may be worth  making a note of all your questions (and their response) so that you have something to refer to (I know how easy it is to forget  what  you really want to know during such appointments)

If your wife is concerned about the cough that has now developed then calling your GP would normally be okay as it's not uncommon for the immune system to be low with a cancer diagnosis and it could be a chest infection which will respond to antibiotics. Certainly worth bringing it up when you see the oncologist though I do not have any medical knowledge as to how quickly symptons would normally appear.

Hope all goes well on Thursday and do come and chat more if you need to. Regards Jules

Thanks for that Jules.

I will certainly be back later.

Hi all

We have been to see the Oncologist again this week and my wife is to get 4 doses of Chemo starting Wed 2nd Sept then another dose each four weeks apart Which will take us up to the 4th Nov.

Assuming every thing goes as planned without serious side effects we have discussed things with my wife and my two sons and their wives.

We have decided we would like to get accomodation for us all for Christmas (We usually split Christmas and New Year alterntly) this is not a problem in this country whatever the condition of my Wife.

My question is this, as anyone gone abroad at this stage of thier illness and is it even possible with insurrance and the like.

Hi Brian-S

Wishing your wife all the best with her treatment.

It's nice to look forward and plan a family get together for when chemo has finished.

There is a good discussion about travel insurance here.

I hope you find it helpful,

Best wishes

Jane