Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I have not been in your situation before where I have known someone will pass, I have lost a close family member to suicide and know how hard that was.

I don't think any of your emotions are abnormal or strange but please don't be scared of your dad. He will be upset, as will everyone. If you have questions about the funeral arrangements I would personally speak to him. That is only how I would approach it though, everyone's circumstances are different. 

My thoughts are with you right now at this difficult time.

Dan

Hi, I too am new to this site and totally understand your pain. I have 2 daughters aged 19 and 23 and their Dad is terminally ill with acute, chronic heart failure. The reason I am here is that 2 days ago my own Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

When my daughters found out about their Dad they said everything they needed to which I encouraged. They asked him about music, flowers etc and even though it was hard, we dealt with it as a family. My husband's response was that he was not bothered because he wouldn't be there to witness it!

Like you, I too was fixated on what to wear when I lost my Grandad to stomach cancer some 30 year ago. I went out and bought a new outfit, even a hat! I was 21. I wanted to look special for one last time for my Grandad. I did it for me because I felt the need. I have always been a planner and therefore planning my outfit  helped me to cope.

My advice to you would to be follow your gut feelings, your heart and your head. You will know if your Dad is is comfortable discussing things with you by his reaction. He too may need to discuss them. If you've never been afraid to discuss things openly with him before, there is  no reason why you shouldn't now.  Deep breathes ... X