Hi Inula.  I'm so sorry you are having a bad few days. I too have 'incurable' cancer and like you and your hubby generally manage to get on with my 'new normal' life. However, be prepared for the down days too because they will happen and all we can do is kind of go with it and know that they will pass. I am lucky to have met an online buddy here who is in a similar situation to myself and is willing to listen to my fears when they hit me - I am sure you will find the same support.

Just a practical point...... your hubby is definitely eligible for PIP at the higher rate with his diagnosis which is around 130pds (can't find a pound sign on my kindle!) per week.  If you contact the McMillan nurses at your local hospital they will apply for it for you (well mine did anyway) and let you know of any other benefits you may be entitled to.  Definitely free car tax when PIP is claimed! 

I hope tomorrow is a better day and at some point your hubby can feel he is living with cancer and not dying from it.  Always here for you, take good care xxxxx

Hi Inula.  I'm so sorry you are having a bad few days. I too have 'incurable' cancer and like you and your hubby generally manage to get on with my 'new normal' life. However, be prepared for the down days too because they will happen and all we can do is kind of go with it and know that they will pass. I am lucky to have met an online buddy here who is in a similar situation to myself and is willing to listen to my fears when they hit me - I am sure you will find the same support.

Just a practical point...... your hubby is definitely eligible for PIP at the higher rate with his diagnosis which is around 130pds (can't find a pound sign on my kindle!) per week.  If you contact the McMillan nurses at your local hospital they will apply for it for you (well mine did anyway) and let you know of any other benefits you may be entitled to.  Definitely free car tax when PIP is claimed! 

I hope tomorrow is a better day and at some point your hubby can feel he is living with cancer and not dying from it.  Always here for you, take good care xxxxx

Hi Max

Thanks for your reply. You are so kind when you already have so much on your plate. I have woken up feeling a little better today. I have also got a couple of buddies on her but Im reluctant to moan like crazy to any of them when I dont yet know them terribly well.

Unfortunatly my husband doesn't qualify for PIP at all. As I'm the 'little woman at home' (yes we do still exist!) and my husband is the bread winner the first practical thing we did on learning of his diagnosis was to contact macmillan for advice on benefits and I have since had a 2nd conversation with them to clarify.

We have been told that to qualify and get a claim for PIP  fast tracked we would have to get a special medical report from my husbands gp or oncologist stating that he has 6 months or less to live. The other way to get this benefit is to wait 2 (os 3?) months then claim but I was told that my Husband would need to prove an inability to look after himself and need lots of support and care which he doesnt need right.

As for getting that special report... That just isnt going to happen. We havent asked how long my husband can expect to live with this awful disease and nor do we want to. I would rather take each day as it comes and enjoy what time we have without having a noose hanging round our necks. The macmillan benefits advisor did say that lots of people live and claim PIP for much longer than 6 months but psychologicaly knowing his prognosis beyond incurable isnt something either of us can cope with. I think what set me off last night was watching one of these benefits street programs. It just made me so angry that people can get benefits when they have paid s*d all into the aystem yet we cant get a decent amount of help at a time when we really do need it. We should be packing a lifetime of experiences and love into whatever time he has. Instead my husband has gone in to work today just part time to get a bit extra cash and Im looking at doing some cleaning for a few hours a day because we will barely be able to exist of sick pay (which we calculate to be around £70 a week after tax) never mind have any cash to do anything meaningful like have days out. I suppose are lucky because he has a small armed forces pension but even so its barely enough to survive on.

Very frustrating!

Inula x