Hi Eileen, I am sorry to hear what your Mum and family are going through.  McMillan are a huge source of information - they should be based at your local hospital.  Usually hospitals also have a Big C centre nowadays with a lot of literature.  McMillan can also offer you advice once you know the drugs Mum will be having.

I personally find that it is the practical things I need help with being on chemo.  The housework, garden, and someone to cook a few meals and put in the freezer so I get a ffew days respite from having to worry about cooking.  This will help Dad too, who will now probably find himself with a much bigger workload at an age when his energy levels have depleted somewhat.    If you cant get over to help with these things, could you maybe arrange help and chip in towards the cost?

At this moment in time, try to get over to see your parents as much as poss - you will be in a much better position to judge the situation that way and see how they are coping.  Tell your Mum how guilty you feel and get it off your chest, she may be able to reassure you.

It is hard to know how she will feel after the chemo - you may find she continues on it for some time if her cancer is incurable but treatable. I have been on various drugs for 3yrs now.  Its all a guessing game just now and will need a bit of a wait and watch approach.  Maybe you could be available when she next has an appointment and go along with her so you can talk to the consultant or chemo team directly and find out more about their thought on her prognosis.

It is a hard situation when family are ill and you do not live nearby - just support her as much as you can in how she chooses to live this phase of her life and resist the temptation to tell her what she should be doing.  When you are in your Mums or my situation, that is the most annoying and hurtful thing anyone can do.  All the very best to you - hope Mums treatment goes well and let us know how she is if you get a chance.    x